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  Topic: New Innovations in Moderation, (temporary topic)< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
stevestory



Posts: 10127
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 27 2006,15:57   

I'm sorry that moderation does not always involve bright lines and black letters. Sometimes things which are acceptable in some contexts would really damage a thread with a different context. Sometimes it's hard to see the difference between the permissible and the impermissible. There have not been many examples of my moderation, maybe 10-20, so I understand that people have uncertainty sometimes. To that extent, I've been PMing people to help them get a better feel, and here are some things I would like to mention.

Quantity:
Saying something bad once, and saying it 500 times, are two different things. Saying "I bet you put firecrackers up your cat's butt." is bad, and probably will get moved to the Bathroom Wall. Saying, every day for two months, "So, how many firecrackers you put up your cat's butt today, huh? 50? 100? Killed it yet?" will get more than the Bathroom Wall.

Viciousness:
If you say something you shouldn't, it has a much better chance of going unnoticed if you sprinkle in a little humor. "You're a total shithead" is a lot worse than "You're a big poopy-pants", though neither is very good.

Reputation:
An unpleasant statement made by a person whose last 50 comments have been good, is much more acceptable and safe than an unpleasant statement made by a person whose last 50 comments have been unpleasant statements.

Those are just a few things kicking around in my head lately.

But there's something else to talk about. I try to moderate by leaning on people a bit rather than banning them. I don't remember how long I've been moderating here, a few months, and I haven't seen fit to ban anyone, though one or two people might say they've been threatened. Anyway, there's still a little too much acid on some of the threads, and so we've thought of nonlethal punishments, and here's one I'm going to implement in the rare times when it's necessary: the Time Out. If a person says some terrible thing which he's been warned not to say, he may find his posting privileges suspended for a day or two so he can cool down and distract himself with other pursuits. BTW, if you're reading this and thinking, 'I only visit here when I'm at work, so this means I can now say some really foul stuff every Friday', yeah, don't think that way. I think just the threat of the Time Out will discourage bad behavior. I mean, this is the greatest site in the world, how could you possibly stand to be away for two whole days?

We'll see how it works. In any event, feel free to PM me and tell me I'm an awesome and sexy moderator, or that I'm a semi-literate, drunk-on-power imbecile with heretofore-unknown chromosomal disorders. You know, the usual.

   
Lou FCD



Posts: 5402
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 27 2006,16:46   

The girls think you're an awesome and sexy moderator, and they would like to know why you're putting firecrackers in cats' butts.  They're dog lovers, but still a bit upset about that.

I myself am also a dog man, and don't really care what you stick up a cat's butt.

Just so y'know.

--------------
Lou FCD is still in school, so we should only count him as a baby biologist. -carlsonjok -deprecated
I think I might love you. Don't tell Deadman -Wolfhound

Work-friendly photography
NSFW photography

   
ScaryFacts



Posts: 337
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 27 2006,16:56   



Hail Steve!

   
stevestory



Posts: 10127
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 27 2006,17:01   

LOL. I think mirrored sunglasses might be even better.

   
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,07:24   

Oh my lack of god you put firecrackers up cat's butts?

Sicko! That's what marrows are for.  Firecrackers go up pigeon's butts ater you've fed them baking soda.Double bang.

Louis

P.S. Message recieved and understood. (Can I say fucking now?)

--------------
Bye.

  
MidnightVoice



Posts: 380
Joined: Aug. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,10:55   

Quote (stevestory @ Oct. 27 2006,20:57)
Quantity:
Saying something bad once, and saying it 500 times, are two different things. Saying "I bet you put firecrackers up your cat's butt." is bad, and probably will get moved to the Bathroom Wall. Saying, every day for two months, "So, how many firecrackers you put up your cat's butt today, huh? 50? 100? Killed it yet?" will get more than the Bathroom Wall.

Hey, Hey, LBJ
How many babises have you killed today  

:D

--------------
If I fly the coop some time
And take nothing but a grip
With the few good books that really count
It's a necessary trip

I'll be gone with the girl in the gold silk jacket
The girl with the pearl-driller's hands

  
Occam's Aftershave



Posts: 1773
Joined: Feb. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,14:26   

I still say you're doing a great job!

</butt-kissing suck up mode>  ;)

--------------
"Science is what got us to the humble place we’re at, and what hard-won progress we might realize comes from science, with ID completely flaccid, religious apologetics bitching from the sidelines." - Eigenstate at UD

  
someotherguy



Posts: 398
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,16:39   

<Cartman voice>I love you guys!</Cartman voice>

--------------
Evolander in training

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,16:43   

Quote (Louis @ Oct. 28 2006,12:24)
(Can I say fucking now?)

Hey, it didn't BLEEP that out.

Whenever I type "####", it gets bleeped out.

But apparently "fuck" doesn't get bleeped out.

How about "shit"?

Where's Carlin when you need him?

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,16:48   

Quote ("Rev Dr" Lenny Flank @ Oct. 28 2006,21:43)
Whenever I type "####", it gets bleeped out.

Lookie, it did it again.  Apparently, if you say "####", it automatically gets bleeped out, but if you say "fuck" or "shit", it doesn't.  Weird.  I thought that "fuck" would be far more offensive to far more people than "####" is.

Let's try some more and see if they get automatically zapped:


####.

Piss.

Up yours.

#######.

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,16:53   

Wow, this is fun.

I can type "#### Paley, you #### #######", and it gets automatically zapped.

#### !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#### !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

####### !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Too cool.   :)

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,22:34   

I all seriousness, there is something about the language censor/filter that intrigues me.

He77 and D4mn get blocked out whereas the "stronger" swear words tend to make it straight through unaltered. Not that I am complaining, it's just an interesting filter setting. I cannot d4mn someone to he77 (although I can darn them to heck, which is enormously funnier), but I can tell them to **** themselves with a rubber hose (Thanks Frank Zappa) right in the **** until it really ******* hurts.

Yes, I censored myself on those ones. I'm sure the imaginations of the assembled members of ATBC are more than sufficient to fill in the blanks.

Louis

--------------
Bye.

  
Bob O'H



Posts: 2132
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,23:34   

Notice how the censored words all have a religious connotation?  I think someone has a strong sense of irony.

As long as they don't censor ########### ########, I don't mind.

Bob

--------------
It is fun to dip into the various threads to watch cluelessness at work in the hands of the confident exponent. - Soapy Sam (so say we all)

   
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 28 2006,23:57   

Bob,

Yup, my thoughts exactly. One can abbreviate "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" but anything stronger than darning someone to heck and you're a naughty poster!

Louis

--------------
Bye.

  
hereoisreal



Posts: 745
Joined: Feb. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,03:53   

If rudeness is # 1 & profanity is # 2,what is 3 & 4?







Seven

--------------
360  miracles and more at:
http://www.hereoisreal.com/....eal.com

Great news. God’s wife is pregnant! (Rev. 12:5)

It's not over till the fat lady sings! (Isa. 54:1 & Zec 9:9)

   
MidnightVoice



Posts: 380
Joined: Aug. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,09:10   

The words excluded byf the filter can usually be set by the board admin.  I loved it on one board where "saltwater" used to get censored when discussing fish.  :D

An unintended consequence of censorship.

--------------
If I fly the coop some time
And take nothing but a grip
With the few good books that really count
It's a necessary trip

I'll be gone with the girl in the gold silk jacket
The girl with the pearl-driller's hands

  
Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4807
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,09:44   

Whatever is set is the default that Ikonboard comes with.

--------------
"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,10:54   

Quote
 Firecrackers go up pigeon's butts ater you've fed them baking soda.Double bang.


how do you catch the pigeons to begin with?

slippery little rats, always using those wing-things to elude my feeble grasping attempts.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,12:29   

Catching pigeons? Easy.

1) Take one trusty 12 bore shotgun, one anti tank mortar and one plain .22 air rifle. Also bring a large net and sundry supplies.

2) Set up a hide at 11am on a Saturday in Trafalgar Square, London.

3) Make sure you use the correct armament for the correct job: 12-bore for poor people, proles and hoi polloi, anti tank mortar for if the Filth turn up and ruin the caper, .22 for the first pigeon you see.

4) Shoot pigeon after purging square of paupers and ruffians.

5) Wait.

6) Other pigeons should come and feast at their dead comrade's corpse. Use the net on them.

7) Retire to hide, put the tea on and let off a couple of extra mortars to put the wind up the rozzers.

8) Carefully chloroform several pigeons and insert crackers into their fundaments.

9) Place pigeons on a pile of bread coated with baking soda, wait for them to wake and feed then light the fuse and retire to safe distance.

10) Go to gaol for falling foul of the terroism act and other minor laws.

Hope this helps.

Louis

--------------
Bye.

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,13:07   

Quote (Ichthyic @ Oct. 29 2006,16:54)
how do you catch the pigeons to begin with?

slippery little rats, always using those wing-things to elude my feeble grasping attempts.

Back in my younger days, when I kept several large snakes and viewed pigeons as an inexhaustible free food source for them (pigeons not being protected under any US laws), this is how I caught them:

Take a length of fishing line (the stronger, the better) and tie one end securely to a tree, post, or whatever solid structure is handy.

Tie a small fishing hook securely onto the other end.  

Take a small lump of bread and scrunch it around the hook.

Toss a handful of bread pieces out on the grass, and toss your baited hook amongst them.

Wait.

Works every time.   :)

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
k.e



Posts: 1948
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,17:05   

Great story Lenny , did the filth or the rozzers ever show up?

--------------
The conservative has but little to fear from the man whose reason is the servant of his passions, but let him beware of him in whom reason has become the greatest and most terrible of the passions.These are the wreckers of outworn empires and civilisations, doubters, disintegrators, deicides.Haldane

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,18:24   

Louis-

I'm way too lazy for that method.

will trip-mines work on pigeons?

i could just load trip-mines with stunner shrapnel and small charges and come back after their wings are shredded.  they don't run fast, IIRC.

it has the added advantage of me not being anywhere near when they go off, thus limiting the reciprocal attempts at capture by constabularies, or angry protests from collateral human targets who blunder into them by accident.

your method is far too "hands on" for my tastes.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,19:43   

Icthyic,

Yes, I can see how my modus operandum is a touch involved.  Happy I can confirm (due to extensive research) that trip wires and pigeons are a successful combination.

Lacking your innovative modification, I merely wired my trip wire to the mains electricity (of course stolen from a local street light). This has the added benefit of cooking the pigeons it kills and stunning the ones it doesn't. Even better is what it does to cats, children and (with sufficiently strong wire) cars.

Yours in small animal torture and other serial killer tendancy indicators,

Louis

--------------
Bye.

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,20:36   

Quote
Yours in small animal torture and other serial killer tendancy indicators,


hmm, sounds like a "Dear Louis" column in the making.

You could get famous!

Here's my first official "Dear Louis" question:

my relatives are coming for thanksgiving (waste of time, i know), and they always bring their little yapping wienerdogs with them, who never fail to evacuate their bowels on my carpets (uh, the dogs, not the relatives).

what is the most efficient and non-humane way of disposing of the little vermin (again, that being the dogs, I'll save the relatives for a later question), while limiting collateral damage and leaving no evidence to pin on me?

sincerely, a concerned homeowner

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4807
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,22:05   



From Dachshund Treasures

--------------
"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 29 2006,23:08   

Dear Concerned Homeowner,

Daschunds, Wiener Dogs, in fact any dog under 75 cm tall are frankly rats with good PR (or for those with proper pets: lunch). If your relatives loved you, they would leave their vermin in the sewer they undoubtably spawned them. This of course goes for their dogs too. Disown them forthwith, if not fifthwith. An armed response is possibly the only polite response. When Granny is flaming on the driveway under a puddle of molten lead surrounded by the corpses of her baby doggies, it's possible even the mother in law will get the message.

Of course should you possess some lingering fondness for these relatives, this is possibly a touch over the top. Should you have your own dogs, however, make sure you cut their tails off so that when the relatives + menagerie arrive there are no obvious signs of welcome.

Far be it from me to disagree with the emminent Wienerdogologist Professor Sir W Elsberry on the matter, but I have a suggestion that differs mildly and wastes less condiments. Surely one of best pieces of evidence of Almighty GOD's (Who is White and English I'll have you know. He also doesn't like colonials as can be deduced from George Bush) design in nature is the similarity in size of wienerdogs and rugby balls.

Invite several large gentleman of a rugbying persuasion for Thanksgiving (although it should be taxgiving as you owe Her Imperial Majesty, Gawdblessah). When said dogs arrive, immediately organise a ruck and give the vermin a d@mned good rucking. That'll fix 'em, begod!

A final alternative is to laminate the dogs.

Failing that, comments to the effect that your family must be poor because they are buying their dog in installments should put them in their place.

Yours in loathing of anything small that yaps (including Peewee Herman)

Auntie Louis

--------------
Bye.

  
MidnightVoice



Posts: 380
Joined: Aug. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,02:20   

I'd like to take you now on wings of song, as it were, and try and help you forget perhaps for a while your drab, wretched lives. Here's a song all about spring-time in general, and in particular, about one of the many delightful pastimes the coming of spring affords us all.

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.
I do, don't you? 'Course you do.
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes ev'ry Sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Ev'ry Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
The sun's shining bright,
Ev'rything seems all right,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

Lalaalaalalaladoodiedieedoodoodoo

We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety,
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you're free,
Why don't you come with me,
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two,
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon.
It just takes a smidgin!
To poison a pigeon in the park.

--------------
If I fly the coop some time
And take nothing but a grip
With the few good books that really count
It's a necessary trip

I'll be gone with the girl in the gold silk jacket
The girl with the pearl-driller's hands

  
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,02:22   

Ahhhh Tom Lehrer. A Genius.

Louis

--------------
Bye.

  
ericmurphy



Posts: 2460
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,06:17   

Quote (Louis @ Oct. 30 2006,05:08)
Dear Concerned Homeowner,

Daschunds, Wiener Dogs, in fact any dog under 75 cm tall are frankly rats with good PR (or for those with proper pets: lunch).

Wait a minute, Louis. Gonna have to disagree with you here. Speaking as a renter living in a city with a population density of ~10,000/hectare, I can say with some assurance that wienerdogs rock (all other small dogs suck.)

The reason wienerdogs don't suck is because they are completely and utterly unaware of the fact that they are, in fact, small dogs. Wienerdogs have in abundance the one dog characteristic I value above all others: a complete lack of self-consciousness.

And if you need further evidence of the sterling qualities of wienerdogs, look no further.

--------------
2006 MVD award for most dogged defense of scientific sanity

"Atheism is a religion the same way NOT collecting stamps is a hobby." —Scott Adams

  
stevestory



Posts: 10127
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,06:29   

Weren't they bred to hunt badgers or something?

   
argystokes



Posts: 766
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,06:30   

Quote (ericmurphy @ Oct. 30 2006,10:17)
Quote (Louis @ Oct. 30 2006,05:08)
Dear Concerned Homeowner,

Daschunds, Wiener Dogs, in fact any dog under 75 cm tall are frankly rats with good PR (or for those with proper pets: lunch).

Wait a minute, Louis. Gonna have to disagree with you here. Speaking as a renter living in a city with a population density of ~10,000/hectare, I can say with some assurance that wienerdogs rock (all other small dogs suck.)

The reason wienerdogs don't suck is because they are completely and utterly unaware of the fact that they are, in fact, small dogs. Wienerdogs have in abundance the one dog characteristic I value above all others: a complete lack of self-consciousness.

And if you need further evidence of the sterling qualities of wienerdogs, look no further.

Ugh.  No, there is no dog worse than a dachshund.  By "unaware of the fact that they are... small dogs" I assume you mean that just like most small dogs, they're always ready to bite another dog, no matter what its size.  Nearly evert small dog owner I've met has said the same thing about their dog. This coupled with the fact that their owners always find it cute when their little crap dog gets nasty, so the behavior is encouraged.  The only small dogs I've ever found likeable are Papillons and Havaneses.  Plus, JAD has a dachshund, and so does James Dobson, which he beats.

*sorry for the rant... neighbor had a dachsund which she allowed to wander around offleash, crapping in our yard and screaming furiously whenever I took my pups out.

--------------
"Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?" -Calvin

  
argystokes



Posts: 766
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,06:35   

Quote (stevestory @ Oct. 30 2006,10:29)
Weren't they bred to hunt badgers or something?

Yes.  Dachshund = Badgerhound.  Brains of a hound (dumb), disposition of a terrier (nasty).  And extraordinarily popular.

--------------
"Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?" -Calvin

  
ericmurphy



Posts: 2460
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,06:52   

Maybe it's just San Francisco wienerdogs that are cool. To be honest, I'm not even sure wienerdogs know how to bark; I've never heard one bark in all the time I've lived out here.

Hey—chaq 'un a son gout. I can't stand poodles.

--------------
2006 MVD award for most dogged defense of scientific sanity

"Atheism is a religion the same way NOT collecting stamps is a hobby." —Scott Adams

  
k.e



Posts: 1948
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,07:00   

Quote
Weren't they bred to hunt badgers or something?


..badgers?

.....badgers?

we don't need no steenking badgers!!

--------------
The conservative has but little to fear from the man whose reason is the servant of his passions, but let him beware of him in whom reason has become the greatest and most terrible of the passions.These are the wreckers of outworn empires and civilisations, doubters, disintegrators, deicides.Haldane

   
argystokes



Posts: 766
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,07:11   

Quote
I've never heard one bark in all the time I've lived out here.


*shocked silence*

--------------
"Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?" -Calvin

  
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,08:39   

Eric,

D@mn d@mn d@mn d@mn d@mn.

That story was excellent. Now I like wienerdogs. A lifelong principle overturned by something as footling as actual evidence.

I'm off for a thorough sulk!

Louis

P.S. I am glad you allowed me the boon of all other minidogs sucking mightily. This way at least my honour has been sufficiently spared and I no longer have to commit seppuku.

--------------
Bye.

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,09:32   

Dear Auntie Louis,

A friend told me a story about wienerdogs that made them seem all warm and fuzzy.

However, this goes against all my own personal experience with them as dumb-as-rocks, endless barking, put-your-waste anywhere, ankle-biters I know them from experience to be.

I know of no less than 3 families with these dogs, and EVERY one of them is pure torture to the families that own them.

No joke.  they also tend to get horrid (and expensive) medical conditions as they age - mostly due to the warped body shape.

so my question is:

should you believe everything you read?

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
MidnightVoice



Posts: 380
Joined: Aug. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,09:53   

Quote (Ichthyic @ Oct. 30 2006,15:32)
so my question is:

should you believe everything you read?

Are you suggesting that the Bible might not be absolutely correct?  :D

--------------
If I fly the coop some time
And take nothing but a grip
With the few good books that really count
It's a necessary trip

I'll be gone with the girl in the gold silk jacket
The girl with the pearl-driller's hands

  
ericmurphy



Posts: 2460
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,10:18   

Quote (Ichthyic @ Oct. 30 2006,15:32)
Dear Auntie Louis,

A friend told me a story about wienerdogs that made them seem all warm and fuzzy.

Just so everyone (even AF Dave, should he accidentally load this page and start reading it before his automatic defense shields go up) knows, I made up every single word of that story. I make no claims whatsoever as to its inerrancy. I don't even know any wienerdogs named Steve.

Also, I should point out that I have never been of the opinion that wienerdogs are in any way warm or fuzzy. I think they're ridiculous and utterly hilarious, and that's why I like them. Tell me a dog that looks like this isn't ridiculous.

I also like the fact that when I see wienerdogs out for a walk in town, they have to take a flying leap to get from street level up onto the sidewalk.

--------------
2006 MVD award for most dogged defense of scientific sanity

"Atheism is a religion the same way NOT collecting stamps is a hobby." —Scott Adams

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,14:37   

Quote (Ichthyic @ Oct. 30 2006,02:36)
Here's my first official "Dear Louis" question:

my relatives are coming for thanksgiving (waste of time, i know), and they always bring their little yapping wienerdogs with them, who never fail to evacuate their bowels on my carpets (uh, the dogs, not the relatives).

what is the most efficient and non-humane way of disposing of the little vermin (again, that being the dogs, I'll save the relatives for a later question), while limiting collateral damage and leaving no evidence to pin on me?

sincerely, a concerned homeowner

Buy a large constricting snake.

No evidence will remain.

:)

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
BWE



Posts: 1898
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,18:32   


snake poop

--------------
Who said that ev'ry wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it
Look what it's done so far

The Daily Wingnut

   
ScaryFacts



Posts: 337
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,18:35   

Gee, thanks BWE, that's just what I wanted to see...

   
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 30 2006,19:40   

Dear Icthyic,

Should you believe everything you read? Yes, unquestioningly and utterly.

Except when it's been written by anyone I don't approve of.

By the way, if everybody fails to send me all their money right now to the address below, the world will end in a pool of fiery marshmallowy goodness.


Auntie Louis

Address for cash....erm sorry....charitable donations

666-777 Falwell Avenue
Robertsonville
Jonestown
UK


{exit to Suicidal Tendancies playing "Send me your money"}

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Bye.

  
Henry J



Posts: 4565
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 31 2006,05:56   

Re "the world will end in a pool of fiery marshmallowy goodness."

I thought the Ghostbusters took care of that guy? :p

  
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Oct. 31 2006,08:58   

Bustin' makes me feel good.

Louis

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Bye.

  
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