Joined: Jan. 2007
I think we’ve hit on something here. God is an object-oriented programmer!
1. Class: Religion is, after all, the opiate of the masses (though personally I prefer beer)
2. Inheritance: Hey, what do you think all that stuff about the Father and the Son is for anyway?
3. Message passing: Also known as ‘prayer’. Java programmers refer to this concept as ‘method calling’, perhaps because fundies in full flow look and behave like bad overacting
4. Encapsulation (i.e. concealment of an object’s methods from the entity that calls it): Or in other words, ‘Strange and mysterious are the ways of the Lord’. The fact that God appears to do nothing when called on simply proves that He exists.
5. Abstraction (i.e. simplifying reality): Well, isn’t it true that nothing makes sense without religion? (For more on simplified real-world entities, see the entry on Denyse O’Leary)
6. Polymorphism (i.e. the ability to treat child objects like their parent objects): This is closely related to the Xtian concept of treating grown adults as if they were children, e.g. by feeding them fairy stories and threatening them with Eternal Grounding and no [Last] supper. “And just wait till your Father gets back here!”
"People are always looking for natural selection to generate random mutations" - Densye 4-4-2011
JoeG BTW dumbass- some variations help ensure reproductive fitness so they cannot be random wrt it.