Quantum mechanics is very impressive but I am convinced God does
not play dice.  -- Einstein

    I have become an obstinate heretic in the eyes of my
colleagues. Momentary success carries more power of conviction than
reflections upon principles.  -- Einstein

    I must seem like an ostrich who forever burries its head in the
relativistic sands in order not to face the evil quanta.  -- Einstein

    I have little patience with physicists who take a board of wood,
look for its thinnest part and drill a great number of holes where
drilling is easy.  -- Einstein

    The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is
comprehensible.  -- Einstein

    God is subtle but surely he is not malicious.  -- Einstein

    Formerly, people thought that if matter disappeared from the
universe, space and time would remain. Relativity declares that space
and time would disappear with matter.  -- Einstein

We all agree that your theory is crazy. The question which divides us
is whether it is crazy enough. -- Bohr to Pauli

The ground of Physics is littered with corpses of Unified Theories.
-- Freeman Dyson

Anybody who is not shocked by QM has not understood it.  -- Bohr

Anybody who is not bothered by the Bell's theorem must have rocks in
his head.  -- Wightman

Man will not succeed in joining what God has torn asunder.  -- Pauli
against Unification

Einstein's universe has matter but no motion, De Sitter's model has
motion but no matter.  -- Eddington

The true delight is in finding out and not in knowing.  -- Asimov

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny ..."  --
Isaac Asimov

If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders
of giants.  -- Newton

There are more questions than answers; and the more I find out, the
less I know.  -- Johny Nash

Being famous is really rather a nuisance.  -- Hawking

I think therefore I am.  -- Descartes

In Mathematics, you don't understand things; you just get used to
them.  -- Neumann

Who ordered that?  -- Issac Rabi (when informed about the Muon)

The only object of theoretical Physics is to calculate results that
can be compared with experiment. It is quite unnecessary that any
satisfying description of the whole course of the phenomenon must be
given.  -- Dirac

Absolute, true and mathematical time, of itself, and from its own
nature flows equably without relation to anything external.  -- Newton

I had a clear idea about what time is till I was asked to explain it
and ceased to understand it altogether as soon as I began explaining
it.  -- St. Augustin

He was busy creating hell for people who ask such questions.  --
St. Augustin (in reply to "What was God doing before creation?")

All colours will agree in the dark.  -- Francis Bacon

Logic and metaphysics make use of more tools than all the rest of the
Sciences together and they do the least work.  -- Charles Colton

Logic works, Metaphysics contemplates.  -- Joseph Joubert

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effects when taken in too
large a quantity.  -- Lord Dunsany

Other people publish to show how to do it.  Julian Schwinger publishes
to show that only he can do it.  -- A critic while commenting on
Julian Schwinger's prodigious Math skills

Schwinger always pretended that everything he wrote was a direct
revelation from the God. You'd be reading along and suddenly there's 2
neutrinoes - a direct revelation from the Lord! -- Schwinger's

What professor Einstein has just said is not so stupid.  -- Pauli
(when young)

Gentlemen, we must bow before Nature.  -- Schwinger, when informed
about Parity violation

He suffers from an uncertainty principle.  -- Glashow on Schwinger's

Tomorrow's going to be wonderful since today, I do not know anything.
-- Bohr

"Uncertainty" is NOT "I don't know". It is "I can't know".  "I am
uncertain" DOES NOT mean "I could be certain."  -- Heisenberg

Evidently, God not only plays dice but plays blind-folded, and, at
times, throws them where you can't see them.  -- Hawking on black

One cannot escape the feeling that these equations have an existence
and intelligence of their own; that they are wiser than we are, wiser
even than their discoverers; that we get more out of them than was
originally put into them.  -- Hertz on Maxwell's equations

Space-time tells matter how to move, matter tells space-time how to
curve.  -- Wheeler

The physicists could but make the best of it, and went around with
woebegone faces sadly complaining that on Mondays, Weds. and Fris.,
they must look upon light as a wave; on Tue, Thur. and Sat as a
particle.  On Sundays, they just prayed!  -- Banesh Hoffman on duality

  1st law of thermo. says : you can't win
  2 nd law of thermo says : you can't break even.
  zeroeth law says : you can't even get out of the game!
  Capitalism is based on the false premise that you can win.
  Socialism ------------------------------  that you can break even.
  Mysticism ------------------------------ that you can get out of the
game (Nirvana).
  -- From John Barrow's book "World within the world"

A table of random numbers, once printed, requires no errata.  -- Mark

Pledge allegiance to the flag, for any flag they offer; Never tell
them what you really feel.  Teach the children quietly, and someday
sons and daughters Will rise up and fight where we stood still.
  -- Mike and the Mechanics, "Silent Running"

It costs money to propagate intelligence.  Ignorance, on the other
hand, is free.  Our "leaders" in Washington seem to think they have
found a bargain.  -- Chris Colby

"'My boy,' he said, 'you are descended from a long line of determined,
resourceful, microscopic tadpoles--champions every one.'"  -- Kurt
Vonnegut from "Galapagos"

"The color of truth is gray."  -- Andre Gide

"During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough
elephants to suit him.  Most of the original group succumbed to the
climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people
at home were stingy.  They would ask if he thought they were made of
elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before."
-- Will Cuppy

"One can often recognize herd animals by their tendency to carry
bibles."  -- Allen Wheelis in "The Signal"

The longer I live the more I see I am never wrong about anything, and
that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have
only wasted my time.  -- G. B. Shaw

Of course, it's a free country.  You can continue to make an ass out
of yourself if you're so inclined.  -- Richard Huddleston

"The college idealists who fill the ranks of the environmental
movement seem willing to do absolutely anything to save the biosphere,
except take science courses and learn something about it."  --
P.J. O'Rourke, "Parliament of Whores"

Keep an open mind --- but not so open your brain falls out.  -- Robert

And God said "Jeeze, this is dull"... and it *WAS* dull. Genesis 0:0.
-- Dan Johnson

"It is as useless to argue with those that have renounced the use and
authority of reason as to argue with the dead."  -- Thomas Paine

"The catastrophist constructs theories, the uniformitarian demolishes
them."  -- William Whewell 1794-1866

"It is a test of true theories not only to account for, but to predict
phenomena."  -- William Whewell 1794-1866

Hardly a pure science, history is closer to animal husbandry than it
is to mathematics, in that it involves selective breeding.  The
principal difference between the husbandryman and the historian is
that the former breeds sheep or cows or such, and the latter breeds
(assumed) facts.  The husbandryman uses his skills to enrich the
future; the historian uses his to enrich the past.  Both are usually
up to their ankles in bullshit.  -- Tom Robbins

A theory and some evidence to support it, please.  That doesn't seem
like a crazy thing to ask of a scientific theory, now, does it?  --
Eric Shafto

No, I suggest that creationism is imposed on the Bible.  By making it
into a religious issue, the proponents have latched on to the only
constituency that would put up with it.  Where do the ideas come from?
From that well-known source, fear of the new.  Why else is it so
impoverished of ideas?  -- Tom Scharle

Un-pa-tri-o-tic (adj): protesting when the government wants to kill
people.  -- Dr Pepper

"The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner."  --
Karl Kraus

Somehow, the Bible forgets to tell us that Noah's family was lousy,
poxy, and had "the crabs".  An oversight, I guess.  -- Joel Hanes

"It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."
-- Alfred Adler

"In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things:
freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to
practice eitherf." - Mark Twain 

Nothing is obvious unless you are overlooking something.  -- Tye
McQueen, E.

"I often say that when you can measure what you are speaking about,
and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you
cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and
unsatisfactory kind; it may be the beginning of knowledge, but you
have scarcely, in your thoughts, advanced to the stage of Science,
whatever the matter may be."  -- Sir William Thomson (Lord Kelvin)

"It is much easier to make measurements than to know exactly what you
are measuring."  -- J. W. N. Sullivan

"I'm not sure, but He seems to be inordinately fond of beetles."  --
J.B.S. Haldane responding to the question, "What has the study of
biology taught you about the Creator Dr. Haldane?"

I think that the next time that I see some creationist point out that
the present species could evolve from a few "kinds" on the Ark, I am
going to point out that that is impossible because of the "second law
of thermodynamics" (:-)).  -- Tom Scharle

"Television, the drug of the nation, breeding ignorance and feeding
radiation."  -- Larry Gilbert

"...and a UNIX user said 'rm -fr *' ...and all was without form and
void..."  -- Andrew Finkenstadt

"Veni! Vidi! Visa! (I came! I saw! I purchased!).  -- Julius, Sieze
Her!"  -- Satish K. Chittamuru

I can't think of anything that expands the mind more than thoughts of
God.  -- Jim Loucks

I can't think of anything that expands the mind more than revising
one's assumptions in the light of evidence.  -- Chris Lee

"Why should the government subsidize intellectual curiosity?"  --
Ronald Reagan

'Imagination is more important than knowledge.'  -- Albert Einstein

"Some people, apparently, masturbate with their intellects.  I prefer
to use my hand.  It takes less time, and has a more satisfying
outcome.  As an added advantage, I am rarely tempted to show people
the end product."  -- Eric Shafto, responding to Daniel R. Levy's "Why
_should_ we believe in evolution?" post.

"No weirdnessfree approach to nature is known, so you either face up
to it or close your eyes."  -- Matthew P Wiener

"If evolution is outlawed only outlaws will evolve."  -- Daniel
A. Ashlock

"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than are lies."  --
F. Nietzsche

"We want to shear the Lord's sheep of their wooly,fuzzy thinking, not
stampede them. So we can't use chainsaws."  -- Max G. Webb

"Down, boy!  There's a good dogma."  -- Mathew (off talk.origins)

"Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT.  You feel sleepy.
Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink.  Close your eyes.
The opinions stated above are yours.  You cannot imagine why you ever
felt otherwise."  -- Evan M. Manning

"Surely your God didn't give you your head and your rectum so you
could do *that* with 'em?"  -- Simon Clippingdale (responding to Chuck

"I have always admired the insular closed-mindedness which
fundamentalists possess, a quality which allows them to filter the
chaff from the wheat.  And eat the chaff."  -- Jim Acker

"The recent problem with the satellite retrieval managed to prove one
thing; DeVry graduates really _do_ work for NASA."  -- Brian
"Rev. P-K" Siano

'Geology shows that fossils are of different ages.  Paleontology shows
a fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through
time. Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution
is the explanation that threads it all together.  Creationism is the
practice of squeeezing one's eyes shut and wailing "does not!".'

[Responding to a report of Mineapolis teachers being told to be
"sensitive" to the religious views of their pupils regarding
evolution:] What it means in practice is that one of greatest
scientific theories of all time will be watered down to cater to the
whims of ignorant and intolerant religious zealots. The quality of
every students education will be degraded because some believe their
mythology supercedes the rights of others to be educated.  -- Chris

`A good place to begin the search for truth is to look squarely at the
idea that just perhaps you don't want to find it.'  -- Gene Ward Smith

"Some people are alive simply because it is against the law to kill
them."  -- Mark Meyer

"Evolution . . . does not support atheism, Marxism, or fascism any
more than mathematics is a plank of the Republican Party" -- Dr. Mark

"First they stole the fourth amendment. I said nothing because I don't
deal drugs.  Then they took the sixth amendment. I was silent because
I know I'm not guilty.  When they came for the second amendment, I
kept quiet because I don't own a gun.  Now they've come for the first
amendment, and I can't say anything at all."  -- M. Pablo

" ...the argument from absence of transitional types boils down to the
striking fact that such types are always lacking unless they have been
found."  -- George Gaylord Simpson, _The_Meaning_Of_Evolution_

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind.  Or not to have a mind.  How
true that is." -- J. Danforth Quayle at United Negro College Fund

"Ministers can and do give medical and psychological advice in this
country, and are totally immune from malpractice, even if their advice
directly results in death.  The concept of separation of church and
state is obsolete and should be dissolved.  This represents the first
step towards government regulation and taxation of the religious
fanaticism that has gone so out of control in this country." -- Keith

" ...the argument from absence of transitional types boils down to the
striking fact that such types are always lacking unless they have been
found."  -- George Gaylord Simpson, _The_Meaning_Of_Evolution_

"... -- it is all over with priests and gods when man becomes
scientific.  Moral: science is the forbidden as such -- it alone is
forbidden.  Science is the first sin, seed of all sin, the original
sin.  This alone is morality.  'Thou shalt not know' -- the rest
follows."  Nietzsche in "Antichrist".

"Summarizing, the widespread prevalence of agnosticism in scientific
circles is for a great part caused by the stupidity of many theists."
-- Jan Willem Nienhuys

"The NSA is now funding research not only in cryptography, but in all
areas of advanced mathematics. If you'd like a circular describing
these new research opportunities, just pick up your phone, call your
mother, and ask for one."  -- rogue@ccs.northeastern.edu

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...somewhat the same distance
from the Sun, which is very important.  We have seen pictures where
there are canals, we believe, and water."  --Vice President Dan
Quayle, chairman of the National Space Advisory Council

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the
point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality."  --
George Bernard Shaw

"An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually
winning over and converting its opponents...  What does happen is that
its opponents gradually die out, and that the growing generation is
familiarized with the ideas from the beginning."  -- Max Planck

"Sunday's horoscope is noteworthy because of its strange, sudden and
wholly unpredictable and inexplicable occurrences, affecting all
phases of life."  -- "Your Horoscope," L.A. Evening Herald Express,
Saturday, Dec. 6, 1941.

"After thinking a lot about the design of the human body, I figure
it's a good thing that God is self-employed, because no company on
EARTH would ever hire him as an engineer" -- Joe Emenaker

"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to
live in the real world."  -- Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden

Re phyletic gradualism and punk eek: "..it is probable that the
periods, during which each underwent modification, though many and
long as measured by years, have been short in comparison with the
periods during which each remained in an unchanged condition.  and
Varieties are often at first local...rendering the discovery of
intermediate links less likely. Local varieties will not spread into
other and distant regions until they are considerably modified and
improved; and when they do spread, if discovered in a geological
formation, they will appear as if suddenly created there, and will
simply be classed as new species."  -- The well known phyletic
gradualist, Charles Darwin, "Origin of species" (the former quote is
from the 6th edition, not the usually reprinted one).

"Keep an open mind---but not so open your brain falls out."  -- Robert
Low (RobLow@uk.ac.coventry.cck)

"Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed
of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter."
-- Dave Barry

"On the strength of this, both Milton's book and its sycophantic
review would appear to be dismal creationist bollocks. I am also
suspicious of the claim that Milton has *no* religious convictions of
any sort. It is difficult to be this clueless without some divine
assistance."  -- Simon Clippingdale