Article 28233 of
From: (Todd Ellner)
Subject: A new creationist mythology
Summary: Yep, it's creationism, but Christians won't like it
Keywords: Insert many, many :-)s
Message-ID: <>
Date: 27 Jun 92 07:37:25 GMT
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 29
Why do all the creationists assume that the deity who created the Earth
was a kindly, friendly, anthropomorphic one who takes a particular liking
to human beings? I've got a better creationism, one with more evidence.
There are several Gods, but we're concerned with the one who started life
on Earth. She was/is a large, powerful, not necessarily intelligent beetle.
Seeing the Earth as a suitable substrate for Her eggs she carefully prepared
it for billions of years, adding water vapor, creating oceans, and all the
rest of that wonderful stuff. When everything was in readiness She laid Her
eggs. Then She went away, maybe to die, maybe to lay other eggs on other
warm rocks. In times the eggs hatched. Most of them developed properly,
and their descendants became the arthropods, most favored of all the animals.
Others became food for arthropods of one sort or another. 
We see proof of the benificence of Her design and the proof of Her favor in
the fact that 'most everything on the surface of the Earth is food for some
insect or another. Furthermore, She obviously favored the insects above all
others because of their miraculuous variety and great fitness. I'm not sure
where to fit the ocean into my theology, but I'll post a complete scientific
account of the theory of neo-creepy-crawlyism to the net any day now. Honest.
( :-) for the alter-clue-abled)
Anyone care to refute me, or should I try to get this into the public schools
right away.
Todd Ellner 
"What has the study of biology taught you about the Creator Dr. Haldane?"
JBS Haldane:"I'm not sure, but He seems to be inordinately fond of beetles."

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