But, uh, flailed Davy, it's the massive die-off due to Da Flud that sequestered all that extra carbon in the sediments--well, except for the carbon tied up in the surviving scavengers that preferentially ate all the modern pre-Flood animules and plants that failed to fossilize in all those sediments--
--the scavengers I haven't identified yet, because I haven't got a clue how they survived the flood--
--but, uh, anyway, those scavengers must've then croaked from, uh, overindulging, after first passing all that carbon that otherwise would've produced fossils of the modern sort, but first their, um, feces must've added to the mojo carbon-sedimentation, uh, somehow, so really, see, all the modern animals are sequestered, but you'll never find them 'cause they passed thru the scavengers intestines first--
--uh, and, uh, the scavengers themselves didn't fossilized because, uh, they got eaten by all the modern animals that they (the scavengers) didn't eat--y'know, the fast ones, who wouldn't lay still for scavenging, 'cause they (the fast moderns) were all fleeing as fast as they could to their mountaintop refugia (however high the mountains were or weren't, in cubits, or squared cubes, or something), which--after descending post-Flud and eating the scavengers, the modern "fast" animals, all decided that they really like it up on the high (or not so high) mountains, so they all went back there, where they died (the fast, scavenger of the scavenger, modern animals) up there and, uh, of course we all know that it's the mountain tops (however high or low they were) that are the most exposed to the elements, so they would've been subject to the most rapid erosion, so they (the eroded mountaintops) would've completely disintegrated the fossils of the modern fast critters as they tumbled down the streams of, like, the Grand Canyon and what-not--
--uh, and as to where all the carbon came from, heck, it just came out of the b-b-bioshplere (dat'sh easy for me to say, after slugging down some gin after corrupting the minds of all those annoying rug-rats...), where it existed in the form of, uh, all those HUGE pre-Flud plants 'n' animules 'n' dragonflies--
--and don't even try to confuse me about the CYCLIN' of carbon through the bioshp--uh, the bio-thingy!--'cause only you arrogant science pussies would ride them wimpy li'l bikes anyway, instead of exercising like a MAN by pulling triggers and kickin' butts, ya bunch of pansies!--
--and, uh, having all this extra carbon (heck, it probably comes from the same deep sources as THE WATERS, and that's probably where it is today, too, ya weenies)--maybe 100 times extra, maybe a 1000 times extra, what's a zero among zeros, huh?--is just what proves that carbon dating is wrong, uh, I'm not fer sure HOW it proves that, since this whole isotope ratio thing is another pussy side-controversy that I already WON somewhere in the deep sources of my imagination, anyway, and, well, OLD carbon must just be a different ratio from NEW carbon, because, well, it just stands to reason that older stuff would be, uh, heavier or ratio-er or something, than younger stuff, because, well, look, we know that there "were giants in those days," right, and not just 'cause the Bible sez so, but because, c'mon, guys, keep up with me here, willya, 'cause all the animules and plants and dragonflies were heavier so, OF COURSE, the carbon that went into them was heavier, too!
Pretty much covers it all, right?
Won another one, heh heh, just like the whole Portuguese and Inca thing (or Portuguese and Lingua Franca, or was it Portuguese and Ingua-Lingua?)!
Weenies! Couldn't tell Portuguese from Linguini if it can up and knocked ya in the noodles! |
. Prompted somehow by one of the transitional fish discoveries...
