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  Topic: The Other ATBC, Degrees for $595< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
Jim_Wynne



Posts: 1191
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 22 2008,08:57   

I just happened upon another ATBC, and ironically it's the Apostolic Theological Bible College.  There's plenty of merriment there, such as this bit about their Life Experience Doctorate Degree.  Here are the requirements:
Quote
1.) You must be over the age of 40?
2.) You must have been an Apostolic Oneness Minister for over 20 years?
3.) You must have been a Pastor for at least 10 years of the past 20?
4.) You must currently be in the Ministry?
5.) You must obtain testimony from at least five individuals who will recommend you for a Life Experience Doctorate Degree?
6.) You must be willing to be interviewed on the telephone by Dr. Reckart?
7.) You must be willing to pay $995.00 for the processing of the application and issue of the degree.
8.) Must be willing to pay the expense of Dr. Reckart to come and bestow the degree. This includes travel and motel expense as well as pick-up and return to the airport if air travel is required.


Like so many of these things, it's hard to tell whether it's a parody or not, but I don't think it is.

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Evolution is not about laws but about randomness on happanchance.--Robert Byers, at PT

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 22 2008,09:14   

Quote (Jim_Wynne @ Jan. 22 2008,08:57)


7.) You must be willing to pay $995.00 for the processing of the application and issue of the degree.


Ha!  You get some nice video of him "laying on of hands" and that degree is all gonna be comped, and you are going to own "Dr. Reckart" for the rest of his life.  

Of course who would want to.

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Steverino



Posts: 411
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 22 2008,09:16   

Hey, sounds like fun! I'll toss in $20....who want to pad their resume!

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- Born right the first time.
- Asking questions is NOT the same as providing answers.
- It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys show up!

   
rhmc



Posts: 340
Joined: Dec. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 22 2008,17:33   

25 years ago, when i first moved to the coast of georgia, there was a local state college that was rumored to be selling degrees out of the administrative offices.
$500 would get you one of any degree they offered.
the scandal broke a year or so later and the college (now a university) swears that they found all the bogus degrees.  
yeah, right.
a friend of mine was hired on the tenure track just after that and i've never let him forget that i could have simply bought the degree rather than sit through his classes.
karma is hell, he just retired, i are still slaving for the man.

  
stevestory



Posts: 10127
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 22 2008,20:25   

Quote (rhmc @ Jan. 22 2008,18:33)
25 years ago, when i first moved to the coast of georgia, there was a local state college that was rumored to be selling degrees out of the administrative offices.
$500 would get you one of any degree they offered.
the scandal broke a year or so later and the college (now a university) swears that they found all the bogus degrees.  
yeah, right.
a friend of mine was hired on the tenure track just after that and i've never let him forget that i could have simply bought the degree rather than sit through his classes.
karma is hell, he just retired, i are still slaving for the man.

Friend of mine worked for a bank which shall remain nameless, in the Personnel dept. Let's just say it's was a very American Bank. We were chatting one time about resumes, because another case had just happened where it was like an executive at Pepsi was found not to have graduated. His resume said an MBA from Harvard or whatever, and it turned out he never went there, and the lie held up until someone accidently checked 25 years later.

He told me that given his experience in Personnel, he was going to start putting huge lies on his resume, because those things were seldom checked. "If someone says they graduated with a Masters degree in Electrical Engineering from MIT, we just take it for granted that someone would never lie about something so easily checked."

   
Lou FCD



Posts: 5402
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 22 2008,22:35   

Quote (stevestory @ Jan. 22 2008,21:25)
He told me that given his experience in Personnel, he was going to start putting huge lies on his resume, because those things were seldom checked. "If someone says they graduated with a Masters degree in Electrical Engineering from MIT, we just take it for granted that someone would never lie about something so easily checked."

On that principle, I think I'll apply to NC State for a tenure track professorship in the Astrophysics department.  I will, of course, be claiming that my two Doctorates came from NC State.  I should get preferential status as an alum, right?

Y'know, it sounds just crazy enough to at least be fun...

:)

P.S. Does State even have an Astrophysics department?

P.P.S. Does it matter?  If they tell me they don't, I'll just tell them they're wrong and act like they're all stupid for not knowing about the legendary Astrophysics department there.

Who's buying the doughnuts and beer if they hire me?

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Lou FCD is still in school, so we should only count him as a baby biologist. -carlsonjok -deprecated
I think I might love you. Don't tell Deadman -Wolfhound

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J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,08:24   

Quote (Lou FCD @ Jan. 22 2008,22:35)
Quote (stevestory @ Jan. 22 2008,21:25)
He told me that given his experience in Personnel, he was going to start putting huge lies on his resume, because those things were seldom checked. "If someone says they graduated with a Masters degree in Electrical Engineering from MIT, we just take it for granted that someone would never lie about something so easily checked."

On that principle, I think I'll apply to NC State for a tenure track professorship in the Astrophysics department.  I will, of course, be claiming that my two Doctorates came from NC State.  I should get preferential status as an alum, right?

Y'know, it sounds just crazy enough to at least be fun...

:)

P.S. Does State even have an Astrophysics department?

P.P.S. Does it matter?  If they tell me they don't, I'll just tell them they're wrong and act like they're all stupid for not knowing about the legendary Astrophysics department there.

Who's buying the doughnuts and beer if they hire me?

My advice?  DON'T use NC State for your degree - it is too easy to check.  Pick some European university, and if you speak fluent French, or Italian, then a prestigious French or Italian school.  If, like most Americans, you only speak English, then you will just have to settle for Oxford.

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
dheddle



Posts: 540
Joined: Sep. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,09:20   

I once worked for a company where we submitted a proposal to the US Army. The proposal of course had a "quals" section that included the resumes of key personnel. One of our key personnel had a degree in Systems Engineering from West Point.

Alas, the reviewers were mostly West Point grads. And they informed us that West Point does not offer that degree.

Bummer. We didn't win. Egg on the face. And the guy got fired. I guess if you are going to pad your resume, at least make sure it would survive a cursory review.

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Mysticism is a rational enterprise. Religion is not. The mystic has recognized something about the nature of consciousness prior to thought, and this recognition is susceptible to rational discussion. The mystic has reason for what he believes, and these reasons are empirical. --Sam Harris

   
Lou FCD



Posts: 5402
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,12:00   

I had no intention of padding my resume.  I was going to make it up out of whole cloth!

JDog, what about claiming degrees from UNC?  The rivalry is nasty enough that I might be able to exploit some sort of distaste for communication between them, especially if I badmouth the administration over there.

OK, I woudn't actually do it, but it'd be a pretty good prank to add to my "real" resume.

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Lou FCD is still in school, so we should only count him as a baby biologist. -carlsonjok -deprecated
I think I might love you. Don't tell Deadman -Wolfhound

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Erasmus, FCD



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Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,12:16   

As a two-time NC State alum, i can tell you that there is nothing distinctive nor honorable about having such a degree.  if you are going to lie might as well make it interesting.  How about Shaw?  Fayetteville State?

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You're obviously illiterate as hell. Peach, bro.-FtK

Finding something hard to believe based on the evidence, is science.-JoeG

the odds of getting some loathsome taint are low-- Gordon E Mullings Manjack Heights Montserrat

I work on molecular systems with pathway charts and such.-Giggles

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,12:35   

Quote (Erasmus, FCD @ Jan. 23 2008,12:16)
As a two-time NC State alum, i can tell you that there is nothing distinctive nor honorable about having such a degree.  if you are going to lie might as well make it interesting.  How about Shaw?  Fayetteville State?

Patriot University worked pretty well for "Dr." Kent Hovind.  

Except for that Finance Course, "How To Cheat At Your Taxes For Fun & Profit"  Econ 439.  

Maybe he shouldn't have signed up for the 7:05 am course.

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Lou FCD



Posts: 5402
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,13:55   

I did go to Bob Jones for a semester, so two Doctorates would be considered "just a little padding", right?  Everybody does it, right?  right?

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Lou FCD is still in school, so we should only count him as a baby biologist. -carlsonjok -deprecated
I think I might love you. Don't tell Deadman -Wolfhound

Work-friendly photography
NSFW photography

   
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,14:10   

Quote (Lou FCD @ Jan. 23 2008,13:55)
I did go to Bob Jones for a semester, so two Doctorates would be considered "just a little padding", right?  Everybody does it, right?  right?

Lou - dude!  

The Doctorates at Bob Jones, are not based on how long you went there, but How Holy and Close To Jesus you are.

If you "prayed over this" and Jesus says you got 3 Doctorates, then who the hell are you to disagree?

ps:  Your last bill for Monthly Indulgences Granted, for the amount of $57.83, is still not paid.  Please remember that The Lord's Patience is not unlimited, and that His Works oftentimes requires quicker payments.  

If your payment has been mailed, please ignore this notice.  If it has not been mailed, please remit ASAP, so that we can continue to keep Satan on the run.  And cancel the Church Deacons showing up at your door and praying over your broken legs.

Yours In Christ,

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,15:23   

Hello, my name is Pastor G. Reckart.

Menorah begorra.

Wiki poured out for ya.

Making you snore-ah!

New lands to bore-ah!

When reality is parody, what is parody? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? :p

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Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Lou FCD



Posts: 5402
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,15:31   

Quote (Kristine @ Jan. 23 2008,16:23)
When reality is parody, what is parody? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? :p

Check your email, I sent you a present earlier.

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Lou FCD is still in school, so we should only count him as a baby biologist. -carlsonjok -deprecated
I think I might love you. Don't tell Deadman -Wolfhound

Work-friendly photography
NSFW photography

   
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 23 2008,15:41   

Quote (Kristine @ Jan. 23 2008,15:23)
Hello, my name is Pastor G. Reckart.

Menorah begorra.

Wiki poured out for ya.

Making you snore-ah!

New lands to bore-ah!

When reality is parody, what is parody? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? :p

Holy Jesus H Christ On A Crutch Kristine - that is some scary, scary stuff you are into.

And in addition to being over-the-edge Crazy For Christ, they also are BIG into 1990 Web Graphics.  I guess The Lord Don't Need No More Miracle Marketers?!  Damn good thing.

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Roland Anderson



Posts: 51
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 26 2008,14:54   

Quote
If, like most Americans, you only speak English, then you will just have to settle for Oxford.


Oxford? OXFORD??!? Those of us who went to the actual English university will have to bite our tongues and look unimpressed.

*bites tongue and looks unimpressed*




edited for misquote

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 26 2008,15:55   

Quote (J-Dog @ Jan. 23 2008,15:41)
Quote (Kristine @ Jan. 23 2008,15:23)
Hello, my name is Pastor G. Reckart.

Menorah begorra.

Wiki poured out for ya.

Making you snore-ah!

New lands to bore-ah!

When reality is parody, what is parody? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? :p

Holy Jesus H Christ On A Crutch Kristine - that is some scary, scary stuff you are into.

And in addition to being over-the-edge Crazy For Christ, they also are BIG into 1990 Web Graphics.  I guess The Lord Don't Need No More Miracle Marketers?!  Damn good thing.

If there's one thing the Oneness Pentecostals are good at, it's infighting:
Quote
Larry Smith has finally outed himself: he has rejected holiness! Women can now wear pants, cut their hair, wear earrings, and be Jezebels. Men can also wear shorts and go golfing etc.. Larry Smith is BACKSLID just as I prophesied he would be if he did not repent! Michael Blume has also BACKSLID on holiness and accepts Smith's new freedom of the flesh doctrine.


Oh noes!!!! Teh men are golfing!!!ONE!!

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CBEB's: The Church Burnin' Ebola Blog
Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
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