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  Topic: Hellishly Bad Sci-Fi Marathon, post your picks here< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,18:26   

OK, as a running gag (or at least that's what I'll say in court), I've been promoting a little shin-dig for everyone to enjoy when we all meet up in Hell, namely the Endless Bad Sci-Fi Marathon.

I promised those who voted for my promotion over on Pharyngula a place where they could put up their favorites for consideration, so here and now is that place.  ATBC regulars are of course also encouraged to add their picks as well.

final judgement on inclusion will be made by putative MC Joel Hodgson.  

any questions should be directed to the PR office, as Joel will not be taking direct requests, and I don't have time to address your pathetic whining.

as an example of the kind of thing I personally consider representative of the genre, I'll post one of the films that will definetly be shown during the marathon:

Dagon:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264508/

 
Quote
Based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft, the undisputed master of the macabre, Dagon tells the story of Paul Marsh, a young man who discovers that the truth will not set him free instead it condemns him to a waking nightmare of unrelenting horror. A boating accident off the coast of Spain sends Paul and his girlfriend Barbara to the decrepit fishing village of Imboca looking for help. As night falls, people start to disappear and things not quite human start to appear. Paul finds himself pursued by the entire town. Running for his life, he uncovers Imboca's dark secret: that they pray to Dagon, a monstrous god of the sea. And Dagon's unholy offspring are freakish half-human creatures on the loose in Imboca.


plus, the leading lady has tentacles for legs, and the leading man ends up with her under the waves, serving Dagon in Bliss for all eternity.

what more could you ask for?

now this would be considered "upper end" as far as quality goes; any better and I seriously doubt your pick will be included.

see you there.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,18:40   

Finally, a thread I am an EXPERT in.

Space Mutiny (actually used on MST3K)

Starcrash (features the Hoff)

Space Raiders.


[Addendum]

Mutant on the Bounty

Battle Beyond The Stars.

Time Burst: The Final Alliance

Arena

I'm sure I can come up with a few thousand more soon enough, I just need to remember the names. (I've seen ALL of these. I even own a few)

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



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Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,18:47   

actually, you only get to pick one favorite, but feel free to list all those you found enjoyable.

also, I should specify that although the title is bad "sci-fi", the horror genre is also included.  pure fantasy is right out, though.

Quote
Saran-wrapping their enemies and chasing each other around on floor polishers.


yes, that one does indeed sound interesting.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,18:51   

Ah christ, only one?

My brother, a mutual mate and I spend one evening per week watching films like this.

It's really funny, unless you think about how much time we're wasting.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,18:53   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,18:47)
actually, you only get to pick one favorite, but feel free to list all those you found enjoyable.

also, I should specify that although the title is bad "sci-fi", the horror genre is also included.  pure fantasy is right out, though.

Quote
Saran-wrapping their enemies and chasing each other around on floor polishers.


yes, that one does indeed sound interesting.

I have my own personal review of Space Mutiny.

Hell, I've reviewd Starcrash as well. They are possibly my favourites, but it's so hard to choose.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
improvius



Posts: 807
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:04   

Your marathon is hopelessly incomplete unless you include Death Race 2000 (1975).

For those unfamiliar, the plot of the movie involves a cross-country road race in which bonus points are awarded for killing pedestrians along the way.

Features:
-cheesey horror effects
-even cheesier 70's soundtrack
-David Carradine is the lead

Bonus:
-Sylvester Stallone plays one of the racers.

Bonus bonus:
At one point he refers to his buxom partner as a "very large baked potato."

This really is the ultimate bad sci-fi film, so chances are you've already seen it.  But if you haven't, you are missing out on one hell of a trip.


Another suggestion:

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)

-Post-apocalyptic world
-"Rowdy" Roddy Piper plays the lead
-he actually fights people in rubber frog costumes.

--------------
Quote (afdave @ Oct. 02 2006,18:37)
Many Jews were in comfortable oblivion about Hitler ... until it was too late.
Many scientists will persist in comfortable oblivion about their Creator ... until it is too late.

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:07   

Quote (improvius @ June 26 2007,19:04)
This really is the ultimate bad sci-fi film

I'm sorry, but until you've seen half of the films I listed you just don't know bad sci-fi.  :D

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:12   

Sod it all, if it's allowed (technically not sci fi although it DOES have robots) THIS is my pick. I must say though, basic knowledge of the greek myths is needed, just so you know just how badly they got it wrong.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:16   

I'd like to nominate R.O.T.O.R.; calling it a low-buget rip-off of The Terminator and RoboCop doesn't begin to do this "film" justice. It's amazing that Joel, Crow and Tom Servo never got their hands on this one.

If you need a token kaiju flick, I'd like to nominate War of the Gargantuas, if only for the song, "The Words Get Stuck In My Throat".

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Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
qetzal



Posts: 311
Joined: Feb. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:18   

My tastes run more toward the cheesy horror flicks, so I'm thrilled to hear they're included. Sure hope I can pull up a burning log and join in.

Dagon is definitely a top candidate.

Any one see Night of the Cicada?

How about Attack of the Tree Monster? (Yes, the monster was a man in a tree suit, shuffling awkwardly about. Classic.)

I don't have a favorite movie over all, but my single all-time favorite scene is the one in Species where tentacles come out of what's-her-name's nipples. I still giggle every time I think of that scene!

P.S. Death Race 2000 was OK, but it can't hold a candle to Dagon.

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:18   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 26 2007,18:51)
Ah christ, only one?

My brother, a mutual mate and I spend one evening per week watching films like this.

It's really funny, unless you think about how much time we're wasting.

yeah, I used to do the same with a group of buddies that were grad students at Moss Landing when i lived up in Santa Cruz.

we were also big red dwarf/black adder fans.

one of them researched sharks, too.

hmm.

Quote
I have my own personal review of Space Mutiny.


do share.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:18   

Quote (Mister DNA @ June 26 2007,19:16)
I'd like to nominate R.O.T.O.R.; calling it a low-buget rip-off of The Terminator and RoboCop doesn't begin to do this "film" justice. It's amazing that Joel, Crow and Tom Servo never got their hands on this one.

If you need a token kaiju flick, I'd like to nominate War of the Gargantuas, if only for the song, "The Words Get Stuck In My Throat".

Oh god, R.O.T.O.R is horrific. (How many of these fucking films have I watched? What the hell is wrong with me?)

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:20   

May I present yet ANOTHER bad post-apocalypse movie: Equaliser 2000

The bad guys wear baseball umpires gear. Yes, you read that correctly.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
stevestory



Posts: 10127
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:20   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:26)
OK, as a running gag (or at least that's what I'll say in court), I've been promoting a little shin-dig for everyone to enjoy when we all meet up in Hell, namely the Endless Bad Sci-Fi Marathon.

You guys are going to Hell? Sweet! I will be there tomorrow night, getting blasted.

   
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:22   

Doesn't Star Wars: The Phantom Movie deserve place on this list, given ratio of quality/money spent? And because of that kid who plays Manikin Skywalker?

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
- Barry Arrington

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:25   

Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 26 2007,19:22)
Doesn't Star Wars: The Phantom Movie deserve place on this list, given ratio of quality/money spent? And because of that kid who plays Manikin Skywalker?

Sadly I don't think so (I actually quite enjoyed it, but it was rubbish compared to the original trilogy). While you make some good points, the quality of other actors, special effects and the fact that anything with lightsabers is cool (except this.) means that the films listed are a step above and beyond.

WAY above and beyond.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:25   

Quote (improvius @ June 26 2007,19:04)
Your marathon is hopelessly incomplete unless you include Death Race 2000 (1975).

For those unfamiliar, the plot of the movie involves a cross-country road race in which bonus points are awarded for killing pedestrians along the way.

Features:
-cheesey horror effects
-even cheesier 70's soundtrack
-David Carradine is the lead

Bonus:
-Sylvester Stallone plays one of the racers.

Bonus bonus:
At one point he refers to his buxom partner as a "very large baked potato."

This really is the ultimate bad sci-fi film, so chances are you've already seen it.  But if you haven't, you are missing out on one hell of a trip.


Another suggestion:

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)

-Post-apocalyptic world
-"Rowdy" Roddy Piper plays the lead
-he actually fights people in rubber frog costumes.

oh yes, both excellent choices.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:27   

Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 26 2007,19:22)
Doesn't Star Wars: The Phantom Movie deserve place on this list, given ratio of quality/money spent? And because of that kid who plays Manikin Skywalker?

yes, sadly, while i agree the writing, directing, and acting were b-grade movie quality (worse?), the ultra-high production values tend to eliminate this one from contention.

curse you George Lucas.

curse you to heaven.

Though we might have to borrow the Jar-Jar character for use as an usher (and for torture during intermissions)

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:28   

These are supposed to be FUNNY bad films, right?

If not, I nominate this as the single worst film ever made.

I also nominate this as the worst big(ish) budget film. (Everyone loves it, WHY?)

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:30   

Quote (qetzal @ June 26 2007,19:18)
My tastes run more toward the cheesy horror flicks, so I'm thrilled to hear they're included. Sure hope I can pull up a burning log and join in.

Dagon is definitely a top candidate.

Any one see Night of the Cicada?

How about Attack of the Tree Monster? (Yes, the monster was a man in a tree suit, shuffling awkwardly about. Classic.)

I don't have a favorite movie over all, but my single all-time favorite scene is the one in Species where tentacles come out of what's-her-name's nipples. I still giggle every time I think of that scene!

P.S. Death Race 2000 was OK, but it can't hold a candle to Dagon.

yup.

ever see "Day of the Triffids"?

(the marine biologist was the hero in that one).

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:33   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 26 2007,19:12)
Sod it all, if it's allowed (technically not sci fi although it DOES have robots) THIS is my pick. I must say though, basic knowledge of the greek myths is needed, just so you know just how badly they got it wrong.

Technically, Hercules as a character is based on a fantasy premise, but if the movie puts Hercules in dire peril of destruction from horrific(ly bad) robots... it probably would make the cut if the movie is more about the robots than it is about hercules.

again, Joel is the final arbiter, I can only make suggestions.

Quote
These are supposed to be FUNNY bad films, right?


only if not intentionally so.  otherwise they would be comedies.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:34   

Quote (improvius @ June 26 2007,19:04)
Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)

-Post-apocalyptic world
-"Rowdy" Roddy Piper plays the lead
-he actually fights people in rubber frog costumes.

He did another sci-fi film in the . . . early 80's, I think it was . . . called "They Live".  It was actually very good commie propaganda  ;)  but had abysmal effects, a horrid soundtrack, and an interminable five-hour-long-plus (it seemed) fight scene.

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:37   

Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 26 2007,19:22)
Doesn't Star Wars: The Phantom Movie deserve place on this list, given ratio of quality/money spent?

Heck, it was lots better than "Star Trek: The Motionless Picture".

I actually camped out at the movie theater overnight to see that one.  Yikes.

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:37   

hmm, I'll have to ask Joel if made-for-TV movies qualify.

otherwise, yeah, that one ("They Live") was right up there.

really, really cornball in a great many spots.

general rule of thumb:

If it makes you first wince at how bad it is, and then laugh, it's a keeper.

speaking of which, the star wars "prequels" just made me wince.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:37   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:33)
Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 26 2007,19:12)
Sod it all, if it's allowed (technically not sci fi although it DOES have robots) THIS is my pick. I must say though, basic knowledge of the greek myths is needed, just so you know just how badly they got it wrong.

Technically, Hercules as a character is based on a fantasy premise, but if the movie puts Hercules in dire peril of destruction from horrific(ly bad) robots... it probably would make the cut if the movie is more about the robots than it is about hercules.

again, Joel is the final arbiter, I can only make suggestions.

Quote
These are supposed to be FUNNY bad films, right?


only if not intentionally so.  otherwise they would be comedies.

Put it like this. Daedalus (who in this is a WOMAN) makes robots and sends them after the titular hero. Much mirth ensues. Frankly it's a combination of fantasy, sci-fi and mythology. Very dodgy mythology.

If that isn't allowed, then I'll have to go back to the drawing board....

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:39   

sounds like it takes a fantasy concept and mercilessly slaughters it with bad robots.

*thumbs up*

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Albatrossity2



Posts: 2780
Joined: Mar. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:39   

Well, I nominated these before on a Pharyngula thread, but I'll do it again here. Since I am probably somewhat older than most of the folks here, my tastes run to older, really bad 50's sci-fi flicks. Most of them involve scientists who are generally clueless, and many of them reflect the 1950's commie-fear mentality. I guess you had to be there...

Robot Monster (aka Ro-Man). It's not even bad; it's execrable. If DT made a movie at the age of three-and-a half, it would be more intelligent than this one.

Creeping Terror - not technically a 50's movie, since it was made in the 60's. But as the linked review notes, this movie (and Robot Monster!) challenge Plan 9 as the worst sci-fi movie of all time. Stiff competition!

and finally, Fiend Without a Face - a classic commie-fear flick. The locale is the DEW line, and it features the military types, the brilliant scientist, and the clueless chick. A true champion of its genre.

--------------
Flesh of the sky, child of the sky, the mind
Has been obligated from the beginning
To create an ordered universe
As the only possible proof of its own inheritance.
                        - Pattiann Rogers

   
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:41   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:39)
sounds like it takes a fantasy concept and mercilessly slaughters it with bad robots.

*thumbs up*

Theres only three robots (sadly) but the bad guys DO invoke "The power of SCIENCE!!!!11!1"

It's dreadful, it really is, but hey, you have to laugh.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:42   

Quote (Mister DNA @ June 26 2007,19:16)
I'd like to nominate R.O.T.O.R.; calling it a low-buget rip-off of The Terminator and RoboCop doesn't begin to do this "film" justice. It's amazing that Joel, Crow and Tom Servo never got their hands on this one.

If you need a token kaiju flick, I'd like to nominate War of the Gargantuas, if only for the song, "The Words Get Stuck In My Throat".

ooh War of the Gargantuans brings back childhood memories...

I suppose we should consider all the old Toho movies, for that matter.

oh, and now you've upped the anti with that link to the you tube of the song.

I'm going to have to spend time tomorrow searching YouTube (or whatever it is now) for clips from my favs.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:42   

It should of course be pointed out that the only reason "Battlefield: Earth" ever got made was that no one in Hollywood wanted to piss off the Scientologists.  



Uuuuuggggghhhhhhhh.

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Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:43   

Ok, unless I think of another film, I think that if Hercules isn't allowed, Star Crash is my pic.

It has a spaceship with PLATE GLASS WINDOWS for crying out loud!

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:43   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:42)
ooh War of the Gargantuans brings back childhood memories...

Gee, the only thing I remember about that flick is that they'd eat people, then spit out their clothes.

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:46   

Quote
It's dreadful, it really is, but hey, you have to laugh.


that's actually very close to what the slogan is on the t-shirts we give away at the marathon.

there's talk about making it the official slogan of Hell, if I can get enough attendees at this marathon.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:47   

Quote ("Rev Dr" Lenny Flank @ June 26 2007,19:43)
Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:42)
ooh War of the Gargantuans brings back childhood memories...

Gee, the only thing I remember about that flick is that they'd eat people, then spit out their clothes.

well, what's wrong with that?

sounds about right.

:p

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:49   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:46)
Quote
It's dreadful, it really is, but hey, you have to laugh.


that's actually very close to what the slogan is on the t-shirts we give away at the marathon.

It's just a shame I'll be dying later than everyone else (assuming I don't get ill, or have an accident), because you'll start without me.

Incidentally;

Quote
address your pathetic whining.


Pathetic LEVEL of whining, surely?

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:50   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 26 2007,19:49)
Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:46)
Quote
It's dreadful, it really is, but hey, you have to laugh.


that's actually very close to what the slogan is on the t-shirts we give away at the marathon.

It's just a shame I'll be dying later than everyone else (assuming I don't get ill, or have an accident), because you'll start without me.

Incidentally;

Quote
address your pathetic whining.


Pathetic LEVEL of whining, surely?

no worries.  Time is entirely relative.  show up whenever you want and you'll be right on time.

don't ask me to explain that.

incidentally;

don't call me Shirley.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:51   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:42)
Quote (Mister DNA @ June 26 2007,19:16)
I'd like to nominate R.O.T.O.R.; calling it a low-buget rip-off of The Terminator and RoboCop doesn't begin to do this "film" justice. It's amazing that Joel, Crow and Tom Servo never got their hands on this one.

If you need a token kaiju flick, I'd like to nominate War of the Gargantuas, if only for the song, "The Words Get Stuck In My Throat".

ooh War of the Gargantuans brings back childhood memories...

I suppose we should consider all the old Toho movies, for that matter.

oh, and now you've upped the anti with that link to the you tube of the song.

I'm going to have to spend time tomorrow searching YouTube (or whatever it is now) for clips from my favs.

Of all the Toho kaiju flicks, War of the Gargantuas seems to make the biggest impression on kids. I remember seeing dozens of Godzilla movies at the Saturday matinee, but none of them stuck in my head the way that War of the Gargantuas did. For years, if it showed up on TV, I'd get a call from one of my brothers and even if it was on at 3am, we'd stay up and watch it. Fortunately, my older brother found a copy on DVD and we can watch it at leisure.

Incidentally, "The Words Get Stuck in My Throat" used to be a part of DEVO's live show.

--------------
CBEB's: The Church Burnin' Ebola Blog
Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:52   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:50)
incidentally;

don't call me Shirley.

Oh no, any minute now someone is going to mention "automatic pilot" and we won't know where we are.

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I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
khan



Posts: 1525
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:56   

Quote
Battle Beyond The Stars.


I recall watching this on TV; truly bad cinema.  A few years later I read the review in the local TV guide and it was referred to as a 'spoof'.  When it's so bad it's funny, pretend you meant it that way.

And then there's "Frogs"
http://imdb.com/title/tt0068615/  
Featuring Sam Elliot without a mustache.

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"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

Frequency is just the plural of wavelength...
-JoeG

  
carlsonjok



Posts: 3324
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:58   

I'm not really much of a sci-fi fan, but I would have to nominate Stargate.  Kurt Russell and that creepy guy from "The Crying Game."  Ugh, what a waste of two hours of my life.  The only good that came from it was finding a kitten at the theater that is still doing great, 13 years later.

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It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it.  We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,19:58   

Quote (khan @ June 26 2007,19:56)
Quote
Battle Beyond The Stars.


I recall watching this on TV; truly bad cinema.  A few years later I read the review in the local TV guide and it was referred to as a 'spoof'.  When it's so bad it's funny, pretend you meant it that way.

And then there's "Frogs"
http://imdb.com/title/tt0068615/  
Featuring Sam Elliot without a mustache.

It isn't a spoof. No Roger Corman film was a spoof, trust me, I've seen LOADS of them. In fact, a large number of his space ones feature the same spaceship.

If you can't afford special effects, reuse the crappy ones from your last movie, no one will notice!

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I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:01   

Quote
Incidentally, "The Words Get Stuck in My Throat" used to be a part of DEVO's live show.


I'm going to have you do a presentation on that during one of the intermissions.

one of my favorite bands doing a take on the epitiome of Toho-style silliness.

I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:03   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 26 2007,19:58)
Quote (khan @ June 26 2007,19:56)
 
Quote
Battle Beyond The Stars.


I recall watching this on TV; truly bad cinema.  A few years later I read the review in the local TV guide and it was referred to as a 'spoof'.  When it's so bad it's funny, pretend you meant it that way.

And then there's "Frogs"
http://imdb.com/title/tt0068615/  
Featuring Sam Elliot without a mustache.

It isn't a spoof. No Roger Corman film was a spoof, trust me, I've seen LOADS of them. In fact, a large number of his space ones feature the same spaceship.

If you can't afford special effects, reuse the crappy ones from your last movie, no one will notice!

yes. spoofs do not qualify.  they are comedies, not sci-fi/horror.

However, having a reviewer or TV guide or whatever call something a spoof does not qualify something as such.

genuine spoof is readily detectable and typically adverstised as such by the creators.

Quote
And then there's "Frogs"


excellent choice.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:04   

Quote ("Rev Dr" Lenny Flank @ June 26 2007,19:34)
Quote (improvius @ June 26 2007,19:04)
Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)

-Post-apocalyptic world
-"Rowdy" Roddy Piper plays the lead
-he actually fights people in rubber frog costumes.

He did another sci-fi film in the . . . early 80's, I think it was . . . called "They Live".  It was actually very good commie propaganda  ;)  but had abysmal effects, a horrid soundtrack, and an interminable five-hour-long-plus (it seemed) fight scene.

They Live is one of my favorite sci-fi movies. Yes, it's cheesy, but it has one of the all-time greatest lines in cinematic history:

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

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Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4807
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(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:13   

For the monsters category, there's The Boogens.

If there's a surreal category, try The Bed-Sitting Room.

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"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:13   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,20:01)
Quote
Incidentally, "The Words Get Stuck in My Throat" used to be a part of DEVO's live show.


I'm going to have you do a presentation on that during one of the intermissions.

one of my favorite bands doing a take on the epitiome of Toho-style silliness.

I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

If you haven't heard it, here ya go. This is the studio version. Somewhere I have a live bootleg from the early 80s where Mark Mothersbaugh starts dropping some ridiculous Woodstock-era dialogue, like "We dig where your heads are at, people!" during the song. I'll have to see if I can dig it up...

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CBEB's: The Church Burnin' Ebola Blog
Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:14   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:27)
Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 26 2007,19:22)
Doesn't Star Wars: The Phantom Movie deserve place on this list, given ratio of quality/money spent? And because of that kid who plays Manikin Skywalker?

yes, sadly, while i agree the writing, directing, and acting were b-grade movie quality (worse?), the ultra-high production values tend to eliminate this one from contention.

curse you George Lucas.

curse you to heaven.

Though we might have to borrow the Jar-Jar character for use as an usher (and for torture during intermissions)

Not to press a point, but I was thinking the squandered money and technology and superb production values were EXACTLY what made the movie so unbelievably BAD.  Unlimited resources and they come up with THIS piece of crap? On THESE hallowed grounds?

(Not to mention the bizarre ethnic caricatures.)

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
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IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:16   

Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 26 2007,20:14)
Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:27)
Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 26 2007,19:22)
Doesn't Star Wars: The Phantom Movie deserve place on this list, given ratio of quality/money spent? And because of that kid who plays Manikin Skywalker?

yes, sadly, while i agree the writing, directing, and acting were b-grade movie quality (worse?), the ultra-high production values tend to eliminate this one from contention.

curse you George Lucas.

curse you to heaven.

Though we might have to borrow the Jar-Jar character for use as an usher (and for torture during intermissions)

Not to press a point, but I was thinking the squandered money and technology and superb production values were EXACTLY what made the movie so unbelievably BAD.  Unlimited resources and they come up with THIS piece of crap? On THESE hallowed grounds?

(Not to mention the bizarre ethnic caricatures.)

I can see where you're coming from, but it's really not that bad. I can honestly say that without feeling ashamed, because when you see some of the dreck nominated by the good folks in this thread, you'll be wishing to see Ep I to get clarity.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4807
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:22   

Oh, yeah... Tank Girl.

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"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:26   

I remember seeing Frogs at the drive in on a double bill with Joan Crawford's final film, the truly abyssmal Trog. I haven't thought about Trog in ages... damnit. If I remember correctly, it makes Eegah look like art.

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Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:42   

Quote (Wesley R. Elsberry @ June 26 2007,20:22)
Oh, yeah... Tank Girl.

mmm.  good choice.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
qetzal



Posts: 311
Joined: Feb. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,20:55   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,19:30)

ever see "Day of the Triffids"?

(the marine biologist was the hero in that one).

Oh, yes. Seawater.

How about Attack of the Killer Condom.

And of course, The Crawling Eye.

Another one (title escapes me) was about a sort of intelligent parasite called an Eomer (sp?). A biggish worm like thing that injected some kind of additive substance directly into your brain. Once you were hooked, you would do anything it wanted to avoid the withdrawal. Naturally, what it wanted was to eat teenage girls. The best scene was where the Eomer was hiding in the addicted guy's pants, and the girl starts giving him oral sex. You can guess the rest.

I'll think of more.

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:02   

killer condom?

nope, missed that one.

crawling eye?

hells yes.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:02   

"Flesh Gordon"...

You have all heard of Flash Gordon I presume?  Well, what would a soft-porn comedy director call an-in-space movie?

Yep!  The rocket ship design was hard to miss, if you know what I mean...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068595/



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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:05   

horror/sci fi that INCLUDES porn is OK, like:

Lair of the White Worm

Porn that has a sci-fi theme doesn't qualify.

though one might get confused when looking at the keywords associated with 'White Worm':

Disturbing  / Bizarre  / Gagged And Bound  / Christian Horror  / Possession

hey, I swear I didn't write those myself.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Henry J



Posts: 4565
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:24   

I vaguely recall something with "lagomorph" in the title. (Wascally Wabbits indeed!)

Or about about "Attack of the Killer Tomatos" - wasn't there something called that?

No forget those - "Killer Clowns from Outer Space".

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:34   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,21:05)
horror/sci fi that INCLUDES porn is OK, like:

Lair of the White Worm

Porn that has a sci-fi theme doesn't qualify.

though one might get confused when looking at the keywords associated with 'White Worm':

Disturbing  / Bizarre  / Gagged And Bound  / Christian Horror  / Possession

hey, I swear I didn't write those myself.

Oh god, Amanda Donohoe was so hot in that movie. I watched it with a girlfriend years ago and she got pissed when I kept rewinding the scene where Amanda spits venom on the crucifix...

For years, I thought that The Pogues were in this movie, but it was just some Pogues clones.

It's been years since I saw From Beyond, but I recall it having a lot of erotic elements. Not near as good as its predecessor, The Re-Animator, and sadly unavailable on DVD...

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stevestory



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(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:39   

I don't know anything about awful SF movies, but I was always intrigued in the exploitation sense by the movie title "I Spit on Your Grave"

   
improvius



Posts: 807
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:40   

Quote (Henry J @ June 26 2007,22:24)
I vaguely recall something with "lagomorph" in the title. (Wascally Wabbits indeed!)

Hey, that reminds me of another one: Night of the Lepus (1972).  Giant mutant rabbits attack a small town.  Not a spoof.

-Scenes feature live rabbits "stampeding" through a miniature set.
-DeForest Kelley is in it.

--------------
Quote (afdave @ Oct. 02 2006,18:37)
Many Jews were in comfortable oblivion about Hitler ... until it was too late.
Many scientists will persist in comfortable oblivion about their Creator ... until it is too late.

  
Arden Chatfield



Posts: 6657
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(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:45   

Quote

Incidentally, "The Words Get Stuck in My Throat" used to be a part of DEVO's live show.


I got to see them live at the Warfield in San Francisco in late 1979. I think they were touring for Duty Now for the Future. A hilarious show.

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"Rich is just mad because he thought all titties had fur on them until last week when a shorn transvestite ruined his childhood dreams by jumping out of a spider man cake and man boobing him in the face lips." - Erasmus

  
jujuquisp



Posts: 129
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:52   

A great movie that I'm surprised no one mentioned is "Monkey Shines" by George Romero.  I thought it was one of the cheesiest storylines I had seen in a while, but it was highly entertaining.  Basically, it's "cripple guy" vs. "love-sick monkey".  Another monkey horror movie that I thought was a ridiculous waste of time was "Link".  Don't bother watching it for any kind of entertainment value.  It's about a killer orangutan butler that is far from scary or funny or any worthwhile emotion.  I was just plain dumb with absolutely NO redeeming value at all.

  
improvius



Posts: 807
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,21:54   

Ok, I was checking out Rory Calhoun's filmography (he's in Lepus) and I found this little gem: Roller Blade Warriors: Taken by Force (1989).  I am - to say the least - intrigued by the synopsis:
   
Quote
In the future, a warrior nun on roller skates must rescue a seer, who is to be sacrificed by a band of mutants.


--------------
Quote (afdave @ Oct. 02 2006,18:37)
Many Jews were in comfortable oblivion about Hitler ... until it was too late.
Many scientists will persist in comfortable oblivion about their Creator ... until it is too late.

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,22:14   

Quote (jujuquisp @ June 26 2007,21:52)
A great movie that I'm surprised no one mentioned is "Monkey Shines" by George Romero.  I thought it was one of the cheesiest storylines I had seen in a while, but it was highly entertaining.  Basically, it's "cripple guy" vs. "love-sick monkey".  Another monkey horror movie that I thought was a ridiculous waste of time was "Link".  Don't bother watching it for any kind of entertainment value.  It's about a killer orangutan butler that is far from scary or funny or any worthwhile emotion.  I was just plain dumb with absolutely NO redeeming value at all.

True Story: In the late 80s, I worked at a hotel that specialized in extended stays - we got a lot of theatre people there and Stephen Root stayed there as part of the cast of Driving Miss Daisy. The program listed Monkey Shines as one of Root's movie credits, and one day I asked him what it was like working for George Romero and he said George was a great guy, adding:

"This is my imitation of George Romero getting angry: (whispers) 'Stephen, we're going to have to shoot that scene again.'".

When Stephen Root was on News Radio, I used to tell people, "Hey, I've met him in real life" and no one was ever impressed. But when I say, "I've met Milton from Office Space", people are impressed...

While working at the hotel, I also met Penn & Teller - both are great guys.

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Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
deejay



Posts: 113
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,22:15   

I'll echo the backhanded praise for "They Live."  Classic fight scene.

My favorite MST3K movie isn't exactly sci-fi, but the producers did find room to include Mitchell in the series' oeuvre.

 
Quote
You guys watch Joe Don Baker movies?


An absolutely wretched movie that drew upon classic sci-fi for "inspiration" is Free Enterprise  The user rating for this movie at imdb is an irony-free 6.9/10.  I find praise for this movie as difficult to fathom as I do the antievolution movement, but some on this board may choose to respectfully disagree.

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,22:22   

Basket Case

Quote
Charming country bumpkin Duane Bradley takes a motel room in New York with no other luggage then a basket. In a flash back-series we learn it contains his surgically removed Siamese twin who is not only physically deformed so badly the doctors hesitated to consider him a human, but is also the vindictive drive of their trip, with the purpose to kill off all those he blames.


a long time favorite I often show during Halloween film marathons

IIRC, there was even a sequel...


after a couple of weeks, I'll cobble together the list of absolute favorites in separate post.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,22:31   

Quote
Not near as good as its predecessor, The Re-Animator,


oh yes.  another classic, and a guaranteed inclusion in the marathon.

the sequels were good too (Bride of Re-animator, Beyond Re-animator), occasionally border on spoof, but really is horror camp at its finest, like most of Stuart Gordon's stuff.

(also based on an HP Lovecraft story, giving double bonus points IMO).

perhaps even a new sequel in the works...

http://www.esplatter.com/2006news/houseofreanimator.htm

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,22:36   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,22:22)
Basket Case

 
Quote
Charming country bumpkin Duane Bradley takes a motel room in New York with no other luggage then a basket. In a flash back-series we learn it contains his surgically removed Siamese twin who is not only physically deformed so badly the doctors hesitated to consider him a human, but is also the vindictive drive of their trip, with the purpose to kill off all those he blames.


a long time favorite I often show during Halloween film marathons

IIRC, there was even a sequel...


after a couple of weeks, I'll cobble together the list of absolute favorites in separate post.

Oh yeah, Basket Case is a classic.

If you're into pure, uncut gore, check out Takashi Miike's Imprint from the Masters of Horror series. It was the only episode that Showtime refused to air. It's definitely a tip of the hat to Basket Case.

Another straight-up bad horror flick that is overlooked is Street Trash. It almost doesn't qualify as a bad movie, because parts of it are intentionally hilarious, but when the plot involves a cheap wine manufactured by the government as a means to eradicate the homeless population, how can it not be bad?

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Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
Richardthughes



Posts: 10756
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(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,22:54   

Mick Jagger's tour de force:

Free Jack

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Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,22:55   

Imprint sounds interesting; trying to find an active torrent of it as I write this, but it looks like all the torrents are dead.

:angry:

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
jujuquisp



Posts: 129
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,23:26   

I also highly recommend any movie starring Arch Hall Jr.  There is even a compilation out of his "greatest hits":
http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Gu....&sr=1-1

You haven't experienced life until you've experienced an Arch Hall Jr. movie.  If you need any more information about him, let me know.

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 26 2007,23:40   

Quote (jujuquisp @ June 26 2007,23:26)
I also highly recommend any movie starring Arch Hall Jr.  There is even a compilation out of his "greatest hits":
http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Gu....&sr=1-1

You haven't experienced life until you've experienced an Arch Hall Jr. movie.  If you need any more information about him, let me know.

I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I actually own 3 Arch Hall Jr movies on DVD (Wild Guitar, Nasty Rabbit and The Sadist).

The Sadist is, IMO, a pretty damned good movie. I also enjoyed Wild Guitar, because of Ray Dennis Steckler.

--------------
CBEB's: The Church Burnin' Ebola Blog
Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
Tracy P. Hamilton



Posts: 1239
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,08:49   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 26 2007,19:12)
Sod it all, if it's allowed (technically not sci fi although it DOES have robots) THIS is my pick. I must say though, basic knowledge of the greek myths is needed, just so you know just how badly they got it wrong.

Did you see when Hercules went to New York?

Hercules in New York

Reminds me of a clip I saw from a movie with Arnold
Schwartzenegger as a cowboy with a ridiculous dubbed
voice.

--------------
"Following what I just wrote about fitness, you’re taking refuge in what we see in the world."  PaV

"The simple equation F = MA leads to the concept of four-dimensional space." GilDodgen

"We have no brain, I don't, for thinking." Robert Byers

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,10:21   

Quote (Tracy P. Hamilton @ June 27 2007,08:49)
Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 26 2007,19:12)
Sod it all, if it's allowed (technically not sci fi although it DOES have robots) THIS is my pick. I must say though, basic knowledge of the greek myths is needed, just so you know just how badly they got it wrong.

Did you see when Hercules went to New York?

Hercules in New York

Reminds me of a clip I saw from a movie with Arnold
Schwartzenegger as a cowboy with a ridiculous dubbed
voice.

It isn't as bad as the Hercules I picked. Trust me. Even a very basic knowledge of greek myths will mean this film will shock you with just how bad they mess it up.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Gunthernacus



Posts: 235
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,12:54   

Mutant on the Bounty is a great title (haven't seen it, just thought the title was good).

What about "Signs" with Mel Gibson?  I did not watch the whole movie, but saw the end - where water was like acid on the aliens' skin.  I mean, it wasn't cheesy like B-movie cheesy, but the water thing just killed me.  What happens in a rain shower, a heavy fog, or just the morning dew?  It was just stupid, and as far as I could tell not necessary to the story unless I missed something from earlier in the movie.

I doubt this comes close to some of the stuff already nominated, but I give you:

Empire of Ants

I caught this one late at night after a good bit of drinking.  It was a typical can't-look-away-from-the-wreck situation.  Radio active waste pollutes the Everglades where Joan Collins is selling scam real estate.  Ants become enormous by eating radioactive sugar at a sugar cane processing plant.  In the final scene, the good guys are escaping by boat.  One of the heroes, who'd gotten pretty beat up including a bum leg, is the last to get to the boat.  As he scampered/skipped/shuffled along the long wooden boat dock as fast as his bad leg would allow - I kept hoping he would trip and go asshole over tea kettle as the credits roll to a cheesy laugh track.  But no, they all get away safely.

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Given that we are all descended from Adam and Eve...genetic defects as a result of intra-family marriage would not begin to crop up until after the first few dozen generations. - Dr. Hugh Ross

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,12:58   

Quote (Gunthernacus @ June 27 2007,12:54)
Empire of Ants

I caught this one late at night after a good bit of drinking.  It was a typical can't-look-away-from-the-wreck situation.  Radio active waste pollutes the Everglades where Joan Collins is selling scam real estate.  Ants become enormous by eating radioactive sugar at a sugar cane processing plant.  In the final scene, the good guys are escaping by boat.  One of the heroes, who'd gotten pretty beat up including a bum leg, is the last to get to the boat.  As he scampered/skipped/shuffled along the long wooden boat dock as fast as his bad leg would allow - I kept hoping he would trip and go asshole over tea kettle as the credits roll to a cheesy laugh track.  But no, they all get away safely.

The producers were probably hoping for a sequel.  Empire Of The Uncles.

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Bob O'H



Posts: 2132
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,13:15   

Quote ("Rev Dr" Lenny Flank @ June 26 2007,19:34)
He did another sci-fi film in the . . . early 80's, I think it was . . . called "They Live".  It was actually very good commie propaganda  ;)  but had abysmal effects, a horrid soundtrack, and an interminable five-hour-long-plus (it seemed) fight scene.

Ah, that brings back memories.  But you missed the punchline over the fight.  It was all about one character trying to persuade another to put on a pair of shades.

There was one good line though - "I came here to chew gum and kick ass.  Unfortunately, I'm all out of gum."

Bob

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It is fun to dip into the various threads to watch cluelessness at work in the hands of the confident exponent. - Soapy Sam (so say we all)

   
Henry J



Posts: 4565
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(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,13:46   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 27 2007,10:21)
It isn't as bad as the Hercules I picked. Trust me. Even a very basic knowledge of greek myths will mean this film will shock you with just how bad they mess it up.

Worse than what the Hercules and Xena TV series did to Greek mythology, Bible chronology, not to mention actual history?

Henry

  
PennyBright



Posts: 78
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,13:48   

I know that deliberately comedic films are supposed to be out -- but how but one that's supposed to be comedic, but is so bad it isn't?  Though I suppose a young Anjelica Huston in leather may make up for that.....

The Ice Pirates

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Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. - Shakespeare (reputedly)

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,13:57   

Quote (Henry J @ June 27 2007,13:46)
Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 27 2007,10:21)
It isn't as bad as the Hercules I picked. Trust me. Even a very basic knowledge of greek myths will mean this film will shock you with just how bad they mess it up.

Worse than what the Hercules and Xena TV series did to Greek mythology, Bible chronology, not to mention actual history?

Henry

The Greek Gods live on the moon, the universe was created by Pandora's JAR exploding....shall I go on?

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I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Henry J



Posts: 4565
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,14:22   

Oh. Yeah, that might be worse than putting the Trojan war after the rise to power of Julius Ceasar. (The fall of Troy was a long time before Rome, plus according to Roman myths, Rome was founded by descendants of survivors from Troy.)

Henry

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,16:38   

Quote (Mister DNA @ June 26 2007,20:34)
 
Quote (Ichthyic @ June 26 2007,21:05)
horror/sci fi that INCLUDES porn is OK, like:

Lair of the White Worm

Porn that has a sci-fi theme doesn't qualify.

though one might get confused when looking at the keywords associated with 'White Worm':

Disturbing  / Bizarre  / Gagged And Bound  / Christian Horror  / Possession

hey, I swear I didn't write those myself.

Oh god, Amanda Donohoe was so hot in that movie. I watched it with a girlfriend years ago and she got pissed when I kept rewinding the scene where Amanda spits venom on the crucifix...

For years, I thought that The Pogues were in this movie, but it was just some Pogues clones.

It's been years since I saw From Beyond, but I recall it having a lot of erotic elements. Not near as good as its predecessor, The Re-Animator, and sadly unavailable on DVD...

Lair of the White Worm was awesome. I rewound at the very same spot (among others). :p

How about The Leech Woman?

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Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
qetzal



Posts: 311
Joined: Feb. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,17:27   

After last night's post, I remembered Lair of the White Worm. Seems I wasn't the only one.

Another 'scientist as hero' movie is Day of the Locust. Giant grasshoppers attack New York, IIRC. The hero (an entomologist, I presume) plays amplified grasshopper noises to lure them all out to sea to drown.

Then there's one called The Swarm (I think). Killer Africanized bees attack Houston. Everybody hides out in the Astrodome.

  
khan



Posts: 1525
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 27 2007,19:59   

Quote (qetzal @ June 27 2007,17:27)
After last night's post, I remembered Lair of the White Worm. Seems I wasn't the only one.

Another 'scientist as hero' movie is Day of the Locust. Giant grasshoppers attack New York, IIRC. The hero (an entomologist, I presume) plays amplified grasshopper noises to lure them all out to sea to drown.

Starring Peter Graves (of TV show "Mission Impossible").

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"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

Frequency is just the plural of wavelength...
-JoeG

  
RF Brady



Posts: 30
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 28 2007,16:34   

There was a 1954 classic called "Them" about ants that were exposed to atomic bomb radiation and mutated to gigantic size. It starred James Whitmore and James Arness (Marshall Dillon from "Gunsmoke"). In addition to the usual hero stuff as they burned Them up with flame throwers, the movie provides an interesting commentary on 1950's era male chauvinism.  :p

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 28 2007,17:53   

Quote (RF Brady @ June 28 2007,16:34)
There was a 1954 classic called "Them" about ants that were exposed to atomic bomb radiation and mutated to gigantic size. It starred James Whitmore and James Arness (Marshall Dillon from "Gunsmoke"). In addition to the usual hero stuff as they burned Them up with flame throwers, the movie provides an interesting commentary on 1950's era male chauvinism.  :p

But that is a brilliant film.

Therefore, it doesn't count.

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I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
qetzal



Posts: 311
Joined: Feb. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 28 2007,20:57   

Has Cube already been mentioned?

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 28 2007,21:04   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 28 2007,17:53)
Quote (RF Brady @ June 28 2007,16:34)
There was a 1954 classic called "Them" about ants that were exposed to atomic bomb radiation and mutated to gigantic size. It starred James Whitmore and James Arness (Marshall Dillon from "Gunsmoke"). In addition to the usual hero stuff as they burned Them up with flame throwers, the movie provides an interesting commentary on 1950's era male chauvinism.  :p

But that is a brilliant film.

Therefore, it doesn't count.

I gotta concur; Them might be horribly dated by today's standards, but it's a classic.

James Arness was also the monster in the original The Thing - the John Carpenter remake is one of my favorites.

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CBEB's: The Church Burnin' Ebola Blog
Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
stevestory



Posts: 10127
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 28 2007,21:05   

Quote (PennyBright @ June 27 2007,14:48)
I know that deliberately comedic films are supposed to be out -- but how but one that's supposed to be comedic, but is so bad it isn't?  Though I suppose a young Anjelica Huston in leather may make up for that.....

The Ice Pirates

I actually saw that in the theater. I was 8 years old.

   
Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4807
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: June 29 2007,00:42   

Speaking of mind-warping stuff watched as a kid, there's The Lost Continent. The man-eating seaweed was pretty whacked.

And another one... The Day Mars Invaded Earth. Like the user comment says, this one was extra creepy.

Edited by Wesley R. Elsberry on June 29 2007,00:51

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"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
nuytsia



Posts: 131
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 29 2007,02:27   

I don't think anyones mentioned The Green Slime?

I remember seeing this about twenty years ago, but only because of the truly awful music. It was a pretty bad film as I recall.
In fact thinking about it, I think it was part of an early Channel 4 bad movie showcase, which included the classic Wild Women of Wongo. Could we sneak that one in?

   
khan



Posts: 1525
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 29 2007,09:53   

Quote (nuytsia @ June 29 2007,02:27)
I don't think anyones mentioned The Green Slime?

I remember seeing this about twenty years ago, but only because of the truly awful music. It was a pretty bad film as I recall.

I saw The Green Slime in college at the student union; MST3K style.

Near the end there's a scene where the slime creatures are on fire; someone in the audience yelled: "Crispy Critters!"

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"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

Frequency is just the plural of wavelength...
-JoeG

  
qetzal



Posts: 311
Joined: Feb. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 29 2007,22:28   

Does anyone remember one involving creatures that dissolved your bones? They looked sort of like giant amoeba, 2-3 feet across, with a tentacle that came out and grabbed their victims. The tentacle would inject something that dissolved the bones, then they'd suck out the resulting liquid. Horribly, the victims were left alive, albeit temporarily.

I remember seeing it decades ago on Creature Feature, but I have no clue what it was called.

  
PennyBright



Posts: 78
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 30 2007,10:32   

Quote (stevestory @ June 28 2007,21:05)
 
Quote (PennyBright @ June 27 2007,14:48)
I know that deliberately comedic films are supposed to be out -- but how but one that's supposed to be comedic, but is so bad it isn't?  Though I suppose a young Anjelica Huston in leather may make up for that.....

The Ice Pirates

I actually saw that in the theater. I was 8 years old.

I saw it on video,  back in the day when you could still rent a VCR if you didn't own one.   '86 maybe?   I was 11 - just old enough to know that Space Herpes should be funny,  but not quite get why.    


Here's one:   Knights

Blood drinking cyborgs roam the earth terrorizing the nomadic human population.   Stars Kris Kristofferson and a glaringly obvious stunt double as a rogue cyborg who agrees to teach a human girl, Nea (played by five time world champion kick-boxer Kathy Long, and no stunt double at all) how to kill cyborgs.   This film ends in the middle -- a more obvious and badly written sequel set-up I have never seen.

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Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. - Shakespeare (reputedly)

  
Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4807
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: June 30 2007,10:53   

Quote

Does anyone remember one involving creatures that dissolved your bones? They looked sort of like giant amoeba, 2-3 feet across, with a tentacle that came out and grabbed their victims. The tentacle would inject something that dissolved the bones, then they'd suck out the resulting liquid. Horribly, the victims were left alive, albeit temporarily.

I remember seeing it decades ago on Creature Feature, but I have no clue what it was called.


"Island of Terror" with Peter Cushing as the scientist looking for a way to stop the critters. The IMDB user review notes unusually, er, effective audio effects for the bone-sucking scenes.

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"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 30 2007,11:36   

Quote (qetzal @ June 29 2007,22:28)
Does anyone remember one involving creatures that dissolved your bones? They looked sort of like giant amoeba, 2-3 feet across, with a tentacle that came out and grabbed their victims. The tentacle would inject something that dissolved the bones, then they'd suck out the resulting liquid. Horribly, the victims were left alive, albeit temporarily.

I remember seeing it decades ago on Creature Feature, but I have no clue what it was called.

I dimly recall an episode of Outer Limits with a similar theme: bones dissolved, victims rendered unleveraged blobs.

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
- Barry Arrington

  
Henry J



Posts: 4565
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: July 05 2007,22:18   

Wonder if "Tremors" fits the criteria?

Henry

  
Cedric Katesby



Posts: 55
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 08 2007,21:03   

Saw the Ice Pirates at the cinema too. (memories)
:)
'They Live', 'From Beyond', 'Killer Tomatoes', 'Deathrace 2000', etc.?

They're all too good.

For a sci-fi movie that makes no sense and has no redeeming features whatsoever, you can't go past 'Supernova'.
Most. Annoying. End-scene plot twist. EVAR!

  
Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4807
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: July 08 2007,21:46   

Quote

has no redeeming features whatsoever


A little light bulb went on at that, and fired up synapses better left quiescent.

--------------
"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
Crabby Appleton



Posts: 250
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 08 2007,21:48   

Heh, Work Is A Four Letter Word!

So bad on so many levels, it's no wonder it's a rarity.

  
Cedric Katesby



Posts: 55
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 09 2007,05:06   

Oh yes, 'Event Horizon'. (shudder)

Many years ago, I was 'between jobs' for about eight months.  Shared a house and was living on the cheap.
Right next door was a video rental place .  They had this offer of six (older) videos for two dollars or something.
I'd always been a B-grade movie fan but after living next to that place, I became a true connoisseur.
(I also discovered some great Bogart movies, but that's another story.)
After months of raiding the video store, I was really scraping the bottom of the barrel.  Then I found a horror movie that was just so delightfully bad that it became a firm favourite of mine.
It was so good that I actually stopped the video twenty minutes in because such a movie should be enjoyed with friends.
So, I invited a select circle of fellow movie buffs over for beer and pretzels to help me watch the movie.
.
The movie was 'Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh'.
Very, very, VERY cheap movie.
Horrible music.
Cheezy one-liners.
A plot that made little to no sense.
Sets that involved inner-city camels, a dildo display and an extremely powerful vacuum cleaner.

In short: glorious!
At the end of the movie, my friends gave me a standing ovation.  We then rewound it and watched it again. :D

  
KCdgw



Posts: 376
Joined: Sep. 2002

(Permalink) Posted: July 09 2007,06:46   

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Hands down. This has everything: cheesy effects, aliens, vampires, Bela Lugosi, incredibly bad dialogue ("The sheriff's been murdered! Well, one thing's for sure--someone's responsible!"). And it was directed by Ed Wood.

My favorite scene is when a character walks down his driveway to get in his car. Unfortunately, the driver's side was against a backdrop, so the actor had to get in his car from the passenger side.

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Those who know the truth are not equal to those who love it-- Confucius

  
khan



Posts: 1525
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: July 09 2007,07:53   

Another one I saw at college:

Billy the Kid versus Dracula

http://imdb.com/title/tt0060168/

Quote
William 'Billy the Kid' Bonney: What's wrong with her, Doc? What are those marks on her neck?
Dr. Henrietta Hull: Well, if I didn't know better, I'd say it was the work of a vampire.


--------------
"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

Frequency is just the plural of wavelength...
-JoeG

  
PennyBright



Posts: 78
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 09 2007,14:23   

'Bloodsucking Pharoah's from Pittsburgh' reminded me of this one:

Bubba Ho-Tep

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Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. - Shakespeare (reputedly)

  
steveastrouk



Posts: 2
Joined: July 2007

(Permalink) Posted: July 09 2007,16:06   

May I offer
Black Sheep  ?

...from the special effect talents of Weta , who were obviously smokin´something veeeery strange.

Steve

  
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 09 2007,17:01   

Just took in much of "Cyborg 2087."  It had everything: teens with a hot rod (and an obligatory, endless teens dancing the jerk in the living room as an adult watches quizzically thinking "kids today" scene), Michael Rennie doing his aristocratic alien schtick, Irwin Allen style computers lining the walls, a repetitive score, and two septuagenarian cyborgs dressed in troop leader outfits and ill-fitting helmets consulting a beeping 50-cent compass in order to track Micheal Rennie to a back lot western town set (complete with tumbleweeds), where the final climactic fist fight occurred.  Good stuff.

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
- Barry Arrington

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: July 11 2007,05:49   

Future Force.

David Carradine in a really, really shitty looking "metal" arm that shoots lasers, a really late 80's looking "future" of either 1991 or 1993, depending on where you hear about it, and a stripclub.

Oh, and policemen that look like the gay bikers convention 1990. One looks like Freddy Mercury. JUST like Freddy Mercury.

The FUTURE

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I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Henry J



Posts: 4565
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: July 15 2007,14:53   

The Sci-Fi channel thing "Crocodile" has special effects that are anything but "special". They might even be called atrocious.

Henry

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 17 2007,12:55   

No one has mentioned Invaders From Mars!  It's actually a classic from 1953, with a re-make in 1986.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091276/

I remember it as a scary B movie in the 60's, (hey I was a kid then!)  I mention it cuz you can have a little fun with people watching it for the first time.  Here's How It Goes:

The Mom and Dad and local's get captured by the Invaders From Mars, and get needles inserted into their necks, that control them by the Martians.  People thus controlled do strange stuff, like pour a pound of sugar on a bowl of cereal, eat frogs and burn the bacon.  The only physical sign, is a mark on the neck, easily covered by a band-aid.  

SO, you and a friend or loved one in on the plan, put band-aids on your necks, start the movie, and start acting strange...talking in monotones is a good one. Make sure your fellow movie watchers get a chance to notice your necks. The smarter your friends,(or kids) the sooner they catch on.

Give it a try and report back.  Your Overlords demand it!

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Steverino



Posts: 411
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: July 17 2007,13:58   

Quote (Henry J @ July 05 2007,22:18)
Wonder if "Tremors" fits the criteria?

Henry

"Tremors" rocks.  Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward were terrific together.  Not to mention, Reba McEntire and Michael Gross as the gun toting survivalist.

Seen it a hundred times...still makes me laugh! :p

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- Born right the first time.
- Asking questions is NOT the same as providing answers.
- It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys show up!

   
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