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Antievolution.org Discussion Board > From the Panda's Thumb > After the Bar Closes... > Funny anti-evolution teachings from my childhood

Fross Posts: 71 Joined: Mar. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 28 2006,18:00    My parents were polar opposites.  My dad was an archaeologist and biology teacher.  He took me to museums and took me on fossil hunts growing up.  Evolution was just taken for granted.  However, my mother was S. Baptist and I remember little comments she'd make to me about "evolution".  So here are some funny ones.  If any of you guys had similiar experiences, please share them! 1.  Evolution was proven false when scientists took 100 generations of mice and cut off their tales at birth.  After the 100 generations, there was no change in the length of the tale. 2.  Cabbage Patch Kids are an attempt by the evolutionists to teach kids that we evolved from plants.  (I'm dead serious) 3.  She used to play us a song that the local Xian radio played.  It mentioned something about Grandma coming from a monkey.  One of the lyrical lines sang "well tell me friend, where did the water, the sun and the scum come from?".  I've not heard it since then, but this was circa 1983. -------------- "For everything else, there's Mastertard"

Faid Posts: 1143 Joined: Mar. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,01:53    I live in Greece, so my memories from fundie "arguments" are not as funny. What I remember from 1983 is Orthodox priests and nuns outside schools, along with outraged parents, piling up the new anthropology textbooks (that briefly mentioned "Lucy" and Homo Erectus) and burning them, cursing atheist schoolteachers and politicians to He11. And yes, I am also dead serious.   -------------- A look into DAVE HAWKINS' sense of honesty: "The truth is that ALL mutations REDUCE information" "...mutations can add information to a genome.  And remember, I have never said that this is not possible."

Chris Hyland Posts: 705 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,02:42    A Greek postdoc who used to work in my lab told us that in many cases the textbooks would be quite long, and the chapters on evolution would be at the end, so there would conviniently be not enough time to teach it.

thurdl01 Posts: 99 Joined: Mar. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,04:15    Quote (Fross @ Mar. 29 2006,00:00) 3.  She used to play us a song that the local Xian radio played.  It mentioned something about Grandma coming from a monkey.  One of the lyrical lines sang "well tell me friend, where did the water, the sun and the scum come from?".  I've not heard it since then, but this was circa 1983. So then "how did water evolve" wasn't a new piece of crackpottery, but has been around for two decades?

stevestory Posts: 13407 Joined: Oct. 2005 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,04:22    The things I heard growing up in North Florida were the usual suspects. "If we came from monkeys how come monkeys ain't still evolvin [into humans]?" "You can watch that dog out there fer 1000 years it ain't never gonna turn into no horse." "Evolution's just a theee-reee. Anybody can come up with a thee-reee." So very early on, I understood that the anti-evolution side's not just wrong, but stupid and/or ignorant.

GCT Posts: 1001 Joined: Aug. 2005 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,04:43    I used to work with this guy who had an interesting experience.  He told me about how he was dreading going to Georgia (from MI) to visit his grandmother because she was so backward.  She thought that heaven and god resided above the clouds....or more accurately that the clouds were like the ground for heaven. No one could travel above the clouds, because that's where god was.  Planes don't go above the clouds according to her.  Satellites don't exist.  Space flights and the moon landing, never happened.  She didn't think these things were hoaxes (at least not perpetrated by man) but that god induced some sort of hallucination to make us think we had landed on the moon.  Or, if you got in a plane, you would think you traveled above the clouds, then would be magically transported to your destination by god, without ever violating heaven's airspace.  If you called someone by satellite phone, you didn't actually talk to that person, but god would make both you and that person believe that you had the conversation you had.

Fross Posts: 71 Joined: Mar. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,05:27    Wow.  That borders on insanity.   A YEC friend of mine once told me that the stars we see in the sky are just space debris orbiting earth and they shine because they're reflecting the sun.  That was his response to my question about how we could see star light from billions of light years away. -------------- "For everything else, there's Mastertard"

Arden Chatfield Posts: 6657 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,05:36    The only antievolution 'teachings' I can recall from my childhood were from when I was about 9. My big sister, who was in college, told me that someone had told her (she didn't believe it) that not only were dinosaurs not real, but that God specifically put them there to 'test people's faith' -- that is, to identify the good xtians, who would no doubt clap their hands over their ears and insist that they were only a couple thousand years old at most. The people that God had succeeded in fooling with the dinosaur bones would presumably go to he11. Even at age 9 that sounded like the most ridiculous load of crap I'd ever  heard. Of course I now know that as creationist claims go, it's entirely normal. -------------- "Rich is just mad because he thought all titties had fur on them until last week when a shorn transvestite ruined his childhood dreams by jumping out of a spider man cake and man boobing him in the face lips." - Erasmus

qetzal Posts: 311 Joined: Feb. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,14:34    GCT, The amusing thing is, that grandmother's beliefs are at least logically consistent, which is much more than can be said for the average ID advocate.

UnMark Posts: 97 Joined: Mar. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 29 2006,16:18    In college, I had a friend in the electrical engineering program who held that exact belief about dinosaurs.

GCT Posts: 1001 Joined: Aug. 2005 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 30 2006,00:57    Quote (qetzal @ Mar. 29 2006,20:34) GCT, The amusing thing is, that grandmother's beliefs are at least logically consistent, which is much more than can be said for the average ID advocate. That's true, and much more intellectually honest than your run-of-the-mill IDer as well.

stevestory Posts: 13407 Joined: Oct. 2005 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 30 2006,04:08    Quote I used to work with this guy who had an interesting experience.  He told me about how he was dreading going to Georgia (from MI) to visit his grandmother because she was so backward.  She thought that heaven and god resided above the clouds....or more accurately that the clouds were like the ground for heaven. One of my mom's elementary-school-teacher colleagues told me one time how amazing it was that rockets got so high into space and still haven't seen heaven yet.

stevestory Posts: 13407 Joined: Oct. 2005 (Permalink) Posted: Mar. 30 2006,04:14    Quote Wow.  That borders on insanity. It is insanity. A mild case of it. Think of the person as a High Functioning Christian.

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