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Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,20:04   

go here:

do you need god?

and take the "quiz".

then explore your results using the buttons on the bottom of the flash screen.  Set your irony meters on "stun", first, though.

having found that I'm going to hell (SHOCKER!), I also have discovered that my eyes are worth ten million, and since my soul is apparently worth a helluva lot more than that, I think I just solved my money issues!

why would I need a magical sky daddy when I can sell my soul for a ton of cash?

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
SpaghettiSawUs



Posts: 77
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,20:25   

The questions were poorly formed so i had 5:5, only broke half of them.

So when it asked if I'd broken God's commandments I answered "no", since I didn't break all of them, and every forum fundy uses exactly the same reasoning when dodging the evidence so it must be ok.

I digress. Now I'm offended that it tells me the answer "no" is INCORRECT, in true AFDavian boldcaps.

Well slap my thigh, the feeky chuckers.

I answered all the questions correctly and guess what: I'm still dooooooomed!!!!

I just love this:
Quote
INCORRECT

It has already been established that you would be guilty of breaking His commandments. ...Please don't be discouraged. ... Our straightforwardness is motivated by a genuine concern for your soul.

Knowing that you are guilty of breaking God's commandments, do you think you would go to Heaven or Hell?


Oh go on then.. gotta be heaven, God's alright after all.
Nope wrong about that one too...

Apparently, if you don't love him the mostest you can't go to his garden party.

The tight git!
Ahhh never mind :)

--------------
On June 23, 2007, 01:06 PM AFDave wrote: "How can we dismiss their theories without first reading their work?"

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,21:32   

Quote
I answered all the questions correctly and guess what: I'm still dooooooomed!!!!


bing bing!

winner!

did i ever mention the endless sci-fi marathon I set up in hell?

it's gonna be one fun-filled eternity.

I got Joel Hodgson to MC.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
SpaghettiSawUs



Posts: 77
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 20 2007,12:39   

Quote
did i ever mention the endless sci-fi marathon I set up in hell?
Nope, but it would have to include every L. Ron. Hubbard novel (made movie) in order to be truly he11ish.

I think I'd be forced to take part in multiple concurrent marathons.

But it's all irrelevant anyway, as I'm going to heaven and they're wrong.

I might be an evil atheist scum now, but I was once a BA Xtian, saved by da blud of da lam.

And as any good fundy will tell you (if you really get into it with them): once saved always saved.

;)

--------------
On June 23, 2007, 01:06 PM AFDave wrote: "How can we dismiss their theories without first reading their work?"

  
Stephen Elliott



Posts: 1754
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 20 2007,12:48   

I am in Hell also. Damn, this place is going to get crowded. Then again, nobody claimed Hell would be an exclusive community I guess.

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 20 2007,14:38   

Hey, Milton was just jealous.

It's gonna be a great party!

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Gunthernacus



Posts: 235
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 20 2007,15:04   

Quote (SpaghettiSawUs @ June 20 2007,12:39)
And as any good fundy will tell you (if you really get into it with them): once saved always saved.

 
Quote
DoveScat
I was saved as a child so there’s nothing more that needs doing (once saved always saved)


Busted!

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Given that we are all descended from Adam and Eve...genetic defects as a result of intra-family marriage would not begin to crop up until after the first few dozen generations. - Dr. Hugh Ross

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 20 2007,19:36   

Oh my God. I'm going to heaven, you guys!

I'm totally serious.


:)  :)  :)  :)  ;)

Okay, look. That wasn't a lie. I'll get into heaven - God will keep me around for comic relief.

Even God needs a jester. Who better than an atheist? :D Right?

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 20 2007,19:52   

Quote
Oh my God. I'm going to heaven, you guys!


booorrrring.

no endless sci fi marathons, no pits of unspeakable horrors.

what, you get to fly?

and then what?

stare at clouds all day?

:p

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
phonon



Posts: 396
Joined: Nov. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 20 2007,20:00   



--------------
With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

  
nuytsia



Posts: 131
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,05:18   

I love the way that the links after the quiz just tell you you are going to HECK regardless of what you select.
"Oh yes you are!"

Think this site might have been developed in the best traditions of Hibernian Catholicism. The image of a nun with a ruler keeps looming large.
For some reason.....

   
Renier



Posts: 276
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,06:09   

Quote
did i ever mention the endless sci-fi marathon I set up in hell?


I found a list of famous Atheists on Wiki. Roddenberry and Whedon will be there in hell to comment on the sci-fi. *rubs hands* Where do I book front seats? Requests to be sent to sci-fi@666.com?

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,13:10   

oh, there will be plenty of good seats.

time isn't relevant, so you can show up whenever you wish.

yeah, I know it "doesn't make sense".

whatever.

;)

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,16:12   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 20 2007,18:52)
 
Quote
Oh my God. I'm going to heaven, you guys!


booorrrring.

no endless sci fi marathons, no pits of unspeakable horrors.

what, you get to fly?

and then what?

stare at clouds all day?

:p

That's right, laugh. Laugh all you want at the little apple-polisher. But I have more ambition than to gawk at clouds. ;) Ever seen All About Eve?

That friggin' golden throne was just made for me.

Wotty (formally Wotan, but we've become close) and I have been hanging out and we have a plan. And we'll remember those who help us if you know what I mean. :)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,17:24   

Quote
That friggin' golden throne was just made for me.


hmm, well maybe you could propose some changes?

I have some great ideas for a heaven/hell mixer...

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Steverino



Posts: 411
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,18:50   

Well, for all of you going to Hell...and you know who you are.

I believe you can simply make a donation to the Evangelical Church of your choice....and....its all good!

Of course, the best seats in the house...will run you a bit more.  Ya know...like bleacher seats...non-obstruced view may run you a $1000....but the Green Monster seats up top the wall....Jesus...that might run you $10,000!

Oh shit, I said Jesus in vain!....God damn, this is gonna cost me!....Oh shit!!!...not again!......

Do they have a payroll deduct plan???

--------------
- Born right the first time.
- Asking questions is NOT the same as providing answers.
- It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys show up!

   
Rev. BigDumbChimp



Posts: 185
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,19:10   

i prefer www.needbeer.com ?

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,19:17   

Ah, straight to hell. Still, I hear the barbeque is good there.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Steverino



Posts: 411
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,19:21   

Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 21 2007,19:17)
Ah, straight to hell. Still, I hear the barbeque is good there.

I hear they make a bitchin hot sauce there!

--------------
- Born right the first time.
- Asking questions is NOT the same as providing answers.
- It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys show up!

   
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,19:24   

Quote (Steverino @ June 21 2007,19:21)
Quote (IanBrown_101 @ June 21 2007,19:17)
Ah, straight to hell. Still, I hear the barbeque is good there.

I hear they make a bitchin hot sauce there!

Not much beats some good barbequed food and hot sauce.

I loved the "do you care?" question I got when I got told I was going to hell.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,20:18   

Quote
I hear they make a bitchin hot sauce there!


actually, we're working on that.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 21 2007,23:18   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 21 2007,16:24)
 
Quote
That friggin' golden throne was just made for me.


hmm, well maybe you could propose some changes?

I have some great ideas for a heaven/hell mixer...

Oh, I totally have ideas. But an H&H mixer would rawk!

Rev. Chimpy gets to pick out the alchyhol. :)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Stephen Elliott



Posts: 1754
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 22 2007,11:59   

Quote (Kristine @ June 21 2007,16:12)
...
That's right, laugh. Laugh all you want at the little apple-polisher...

LOL!
I have no idea why, but that made me laugh.

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 22 2007,16:00   

Might have reminded you of the line by Azrael in Dogma:

 
Quote
Ever the fucking apple polisher!


 
Quote
I get it! Holy bartender! that's a great one!


bringing up Dogma again, always makes me think of that line by Rufus where he talks about the difference between an "idea" and a "belief", which I often equate to the difference between how a scientist works vs the way the religious work.

anyone recall the specific line he used?

ahh, here tis:

Quote

Rufus: His only beef with mankind is the shit that gets carried out in his name... Wars bigotry, televangelism. The big one though is the factioning of all the religions. He said mankind got it all wrong by taking a good idea and building a belief structure on it.

Bethany: You're saying having beliefs is a bad thing?

Rufus.: I just think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.
People die for it.
People kill for it.
The whole of existence is in jeopardy right now because of the catholic belief structure regarding this plenary indulgence bullshit..... Bartleby and Loki, whether they know or not, are exploiting that belief, and if they're successull; You, me, all of this end's in a heartbeat. All over a belief.


--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Stephen Elliott



Posts: 1754
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 22 2007,19:45   

Quote (Ichthyic @ June 22 2007,16:00)
Might have reminded you of the line by Azrael in Dogma:

   
Quote
Ever the fucking apple polisher!
...

 

By jings sir,
That could be it.

Dogma has some great scenes/dialogue for introducing characters. In fact it just has some great stuff.

Quote
All hail the the motronone the voice of the 1 true God...
(squirt)


etc.

Some bloody good actors in it too. Alan Rickman and Chris Rock (Metronon and Rufus) where particularly good.

  
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